I Lost My Son At 5 Months Pregnant.

I slowly watched as the life I thought I would have, slowly slip away one tear at a time.

My life came crashing down when I heard those two words, no heartbeat. No one can prepare you for this moment. There are no words that can be spoken to comfort you. You have to sit there and just take it. I looked around each face and saw their pity in their eyes. At almost 5 months you’re given the false hope that everything will be ok, because you made it passed that 3 month mark, but in my case that 3 month mark was a false sense of security.

I got pregnant when I first met him. It wasn’t my original plan to choose him, but subconsciously I did. At 33 and single you start to realize how little time you have left if you did want to have a child. In this day in age, having a child out of wedlock is accepted, at least more so than decades ago. We had a chemistry I hadn’t had in a long time. It was comfortable and just so damn easy. Hell, if I didn’t know that we had just met, I would have assumed we knew each other for years.

Had I not become pregnant that night, I think he and I might have dated. Maybe we would have made it as a couple, maybe we wouldn’t have, but we will never know because in this short span of 6 months I saw the real him in a crisis and it was not a pretty sight.

I knew I was pregnant, that mothers intuition strong within me. And I knew I wouldn’t be bringing him home one day, but I was going to try my damnedest to try to prevent what my intuition already knew. I told the father right before Easter, which wasn’t good timing on my part, since he was Catholic, but I knew there wasn’t going to be a good time to tell a 27 year old that his life was about to change in as little time as it took to write a text message. He and I had texted each other the week before about us seeing each other soon, which never happened. Which would become the beginning of a lot of broken promises from him. I was trying not to have to text him this news, but his actions prevented that. So I had to do the only other option, which was to text him.

His response was typical for an immature guy. And I expected nothing less than more promises from him and then all of them broken in quick succession. But, I still wanted him! As a relationship coach, he was showing every red flag in the book and still I fell for him. Partly because of our connection and the rest because of Xavier Eliot, our son who I found out was a boy due to a test I was made to have due to extra amniotic fluid around his neck. If I could go back to that day when they found that fluid, I would have told my doctors I didn’t care if that extra fluid meant Down syndrome or another genetic disorder. It wouldn’t have matter to me what my baby had, I would have kept him regardless.

Each ultrasound and each test I had to do, I did alone. The father not wanting to make this “situation” real, so he avoided every aspect of what showed him that it was a reality. As my stomach grew and my heart swelled for the love I had for my unborn child, so did my hope the father would come around. I wanted so badly to see the person I thought I had that first night. But he would never reappear or maybe this was the real him all along?

The day I found out Xavier had passed on was the day I had my 3D/4D scan with my family and friends in attendance. I went to a place my friend worked at and I thank god for that now. I lay on the folded out chair seeing the baby on a huge screen and even I saw the amount of swelling on the screen. My stomach dropping as I think to myself, this doesn’t look right. My friend after what felt like an hour says to me, you need to get checked out, I’m not getting a heartbeat. Survival mode kicked in. My mind racing with so many details and possible movement I thought I had felt over the past few days. Didn’t I just feel him move? Or was that a week ago? 2 weeks? She’s wrong, she has to be wrong. So many thoughts, so many questions that she and even I couldn’t answer.

I called my high risk doctor on call and was instructed to go to labor and delivery at Ohio State University. I immediately knew this wasn’t going to be a welfare check and them tell me something different. I was lucky to have one of my best friends go with me. Had she not gone with me I do not know how that would have gone by myself.

I arrived at Ohio State and recounted the events so far. I must have told my story over and over to each new face I met at the hospital. Even I was getting sick of hearing this story, my story. Every nurse that came in was trying to make small talk and had my friend not been there I probably would have told them where to go with their small talk. I was there for one reason and it was not to hear their stories of how their days were going.

The first doctor came in and tried to find his heartbeat, all the while I’m thinking how hard can it be to find? The longer they made me wait, the longer I had to sit there and deal with something I didn’t want to deal with. The doctor said she needed another set of eyes to make sure and luckily or unluckily the next doctor was quicker. She confirmed he had passed on, most likely a week or two before. And that’s when the tears that had been waiting patiently for this news came out fast and furious.

Of course the first thing I thought of was how I was going to be able to deal with this. And deal with it alone. The next thought I had was about the father, thinking he got his wish. He wished this away and he got it.

I was asked if I wanted to be induced and give birth or if I wanted a D&E which is similar to a D&C, but a little different given how far along I was. I knew if I gave birth, my already raging hormones would double and I didn’t think I could handle seeing him like that. So I opted for the lesser evil in this situation.

Three days later I was scheduled for the removal of Xavier. I felt like a fraud walking around everywhere looking pregnant and honestly the procedure was welcomed so I would stop getting asked how my pregnancy was going. I just had my maintenance man at my complex ask how I was on the same day I found out that I lost Xavier. I don’t know who was more mortified when he asked that question and got my response?

With my basic survival instincts kicked in on overdrive; my mind just wanted this over with. I wanted to go back to February when I was in the best shape of my life and to that moment the father and I met for the first time so I could rewrite that history and choose differently. I prayed to go back and never have met him. I prayed for Xavier to still be kicking me and have that feeling that he was safe again. So many emotions, so many thoughts. Your mind isn’t supposed to compute this many extremes. But in a time like this, that’s all it can do.

I so badly just needed the father, no matter how he felt about me or Xavier, to hold me and let me cry. While I was going through hell, he got to act like nothing had changed. He hadn’t told his family, nor his friends. I had never hated someone so much in my life and at the same time care for him deeply. When you’re pregnant the attachment you can feel for the father is mind boggling, especially in a situation as precarious and confusing as mine was.

It’s been one month since Xavier has passed. The cremation and the picking of the urn and necklaces was completed. The father, being absent from everything else, actually made it to the planning of the cremation. Which surprised me. What surprised me more was that he purchased a necklace for himself. Which I have no doubt will sit in a box in his closet, never to be thought of again.

To my fellow moms out there, and don’t let anyone tell you any different. You are a mother, you just have to wait to hold your baby. But, one day you will hold him and when you do hold him tight and never let go.

The healing begins for me. My heart is broken by this and by the fathers lack of presence and support. My stomach is almost gone and Mother Nature was kind enough to remind me very quickly that I’m no longer pregnant. Because miscarriages and still births are rarely spoken about or written about; I wanted to share my story so other women can see they are not alone. If you need to cry, cry. If you want to yell at God, then yell at him. Do you feel like punching something? Then punch something! Put your anger and frustrations out there to the universe. Because if you don’t, the emotions you feel will come out in other unhealthy ways. Take as much time as you need. There is no timeline for grieving the loss of your baby. I didn’t cry much that first week, instead I put my frustrations into going to the gym, but I still needed a release. And crying was the only way to get it. Even if it meant I would cry for days, it needed to happen. I still feel numb as if this was just a dream, but if this taught me anything about this experience, it is that I love myself enough to make it through this. Even if that means making it through this alone. And especially when the one person who should have been there to hold my hand wasn’t.

 

Sorry, Not Sorry

I am ashamed of my generation the millennials.

I recently had a situation arise, a young college student tried to intentionally scare me by trying to hit my dogs and I with his car. He made an illegal turn down a one-way street to park in a parking spot that we were walking passed. When he got out I asked him if that was really necessary? He then proceeded to berate me about how it was my fault and I should expect him to try to hit me since I was walking through a parking spot. Umm, what? I didn’t know by him doing an illegal turn and almost hitting me was my fault?

That’s the problem with today’s youth and young adults they will never apologize, even when it is blatantly their fault. Why is that? Where has good manners and respect for others gone? I ask this everyday when I drive somewhere. It has become commonplace for me to be flipped off or shouted at by a driver who intentionally cut me off or them not using a turn signal. It’s apparent no one wants to take responsibility for their actions or their words anymore. And most of the time they assume there will not be any repercussions for their actions.

A lot of today’s youth or 20 something year olds have no respect for authority. They feel that by being cordial, polite or just respecting someone else’s authority, experience, and/or space is beneath them. They lack the patience that is needed to survive in the world, which scares the hell out of me and I am fearful of what the world will look like 5-10 years from now. I haven’t been able to think about what it might look like in 20 plus years.

Another instance of the lack of patience and respect: I was in a long line at Tim Horton’s getting my daily coffee fix when I look out my window to see how long the line was, since I had been sitting there for over 5 minutes. A guy walking into the Tim Horton’s for whatever reason thought that I was looking at him. So he did the best choice he thought of at that moment and said to me, “What the F*ck are you looking at?” Now I ask you, how is it that this gentleman thought that I was so concerned about what he was doing, that I just had to be looking at only him? Like I said before, that was the “all about me” conclusion he could come up with. Instead, he could have thought the simpler conclusion that I might have just been looking at the damn line behind me?

What happens years from now when these kids or young adults start to run our countries? When they are wrong or do something inexcusable, are they going to be able to explain why they did or said something? That’s unfortunately where we are headed. Soon we will get to see our congressmen and women throw temper tantrums and think that we all should be under the assumption that regardless of right and wrong or even common sense, they are right and you are wrong so just get over it.

I know people like to make excuses for the millennials, but when do they stop getting a pass? Whether the excuse for them is that they live in a different world than we did, or that technology is now commonplace so them disrespecting who ever they are with by looking at their phones more than their guest is ok. When does responsibility become a factor? Are their parents going to hold their hands through job interviews? Will they get a time out whenever they disrespect someone else? There are no excuses here that are valid. The parents need to take most of the responsibility.

Our politicians aren’t helping this entitlement phase, offering free college and other freebies is just another way to tell them that the opportunities that they are getting isn’t worth anything and to just keep taking and taking. I had to work 2 jobs and go to school full-time in order for me to afford it. So why are they more important than me? To be honest I wouldn’t want free tuition anyways, my working full-time and going to school full-time made me appreciate the education all the more. Stop looking for handouts and start to appreciate the handouts you have already received! Other countries aren’t as lucky as you guys have been.

Life in general is tough to navigate through, but if you are constantly walking around with your hand out and with a “The world owes me” attitude, then life will be even tougher for you. Always remember that the world doesn’t owe you shit, you owe the world. After all, the world was here first!

God help us.

Please Sign This Petition.

I made a petition for hospitals and surgery centers to be required to video each procedure or surgery. This would significantly lower malpractice claims and it helps both parties. You are allowed 1 year to file a malpractice case anyway, so they would only have to keep the video on file for the year.

http://www.petition2congress.com/19872/we-are-not-your-guinea-pigs/

https://www.change.org/p/cheryl-grossman-for-all-hospitals-and-surgery-centers-to-video-each-procedure-or-surgery?recruiter=528797357&utm_source=share_for_starters&utm_medium=copyLink

6 Games You Are Playing That Will Push Him Away Permanently!

Games are best left on the field and not in your dating life.

Play At Your Own Risk!!

1. You tell them it’s ok to go out with his friends, but once he comes back you are cold and distant. You can’t expect him to understand this tactic and I know most girls just can’t believe that he actually left you that night for their friends. You think he should just know that you wanted him to stay in with you. He isn’t a mind reader and if you think he is going to miss an opportunity to hang with his boys, you are sadly mistaken.

2. You’re happy one second and then a second later you’re pissed off. I never really understood why women do this? Maybe they think it’s a sense of control, but all you are doing is making him question everything you have said and done during your time together. Which may lead him to rethinking your relationship and it’s status. Be careful with this tactic, because one minute you can be “in a relationship” and the next “it’s complicated.”

3. You two have been texting consistently for weeks now and then all of a sudden you decide to wait hours to respond or even a day. This is another push/pull control tactic and depending on the length of your relationship and your age, just know you should have stopped doing this in middle school or even freshman year of high school. If he messages you, respond in a acceptable amount of time. You do not have to respond right away, but at least respond within an hour or less.

4. Them canceling plans you have had for weeks for him to meet your friends or family. I had a boyfriend who was supposed to meet my father and my step mom and then at the last minute he decided going on a boat with his friends was more important. He was basically living in my apartment at the time, so by him doing this, I knew it was time to guard my heart. If you have plans that have been in place for a week or longer, never cancel those plans! By canceling, you are showing them that it isn’t important to you to meet them. It’s ok to be scared, but talk to her about your fears instead of blowing her off. Communication is key to a successful relationship. You need to assure them that your family or friends with love them and that your family will be trying to make them feel comfortable, not uncomfortable.

5. He hasn’t responded to your last message and so you are over analyzing everything you have said and did in the past day or week. But, when he does respond and you breathe that sigh of relief, instead of responding right away, your insecurities get the best of you, so you decide to repay the favor and not respond. Sometimes we get busy and we cannot respond right away. Now, I know with texting everyone thinks that you should always be able to respond even if it’s a “brb” text. But guess what? Their life does not revolve around you, so they may in fact be busy or they could very well be playing the exact same game.

6. You’re out with your friends and you see your boyfriend or girlfriend out with their friends and instead of going up to them and acting normal, you ignore them. By ignoring them you are embarrassing yourself and them. This isn’t high school where you think that the guy has to approach you first. If you are dating and you see them out, regardless of where, say hi! It makes things less awkward and by acknowledging them you are showing them that you really are invested in the relationship.

Playing games will only get you so far and as a relationship coach, I can tell you that none of these tactics work! They actually will have the opposite effect and then you are the jealous ex looking at their social media accounts to try to get a glimpse of the life you could have had, had you not been the crazy girl or the crazy guy.

This Is Why You Should Always Have A Prenuptial Agreement

Marriage is not just about love, it is also a business arrangement.

Everyone has their own opinions on prenuptial agreements and question if they send a bad precedent before marriage. But, divorce is a possibility whether you would want to address those feelings now or not. Life has no guarantees and there is no way to know if 2 or 10 years down the road you decide the marriage is not repairable. When you get married, you never want to think about the possibility of it ending, but with the divorce rate being so high, it is something that every pre-marriage phase couples need to think about and give credence to.

If a marriage doesn’t work out, the likelihood of it being a cordial break up and everyone agreeing on every little thing, is slim to none. Sure, there are a select few who can accomplish an amicable divorce, but more often than not there is going to be some resentment and angry feelings involved, especially for the person who was dumped. They will have a major hit to their ego and instead of being logical about their feelings, they will direct their anger towards getting their exes back anyway possible. Divorce becomes revenge and anything you two had discussed before with regards to the marriage not working out, goes out the window. Every couple says in the beginning if things do not work out, I will not fight with you or I will not take this or take that. And then the gloves come off and it’s everyone for them self. Even the attorneys will get nasty and become too emotionally involved.

I have seen every end of the spectrum when it comes to divorce. You have mutual break ups, the extremely angry break ups, and the starting out mutual, only to turn into a battle until even the toothbrush is accounted for. This is why pre-nups are such a necessary asset pre-marriage. You can put everything in this legal document and no matter who breaks up with whom, the pre-nup will stand. It is very rare that a judge goes against the original pre-nup legal document.

I know some people think that this process is unromantic and that it brings down the happy celebratory vibe you two have. My response to that is, it only has that effect on your situation because you are allowing it to. All you are doing, is laying out every asset you have and making sure you are protected down the road and that your kids are protected if you choose to have them or already have them. So put the romance feelings aside, it’s just smart to have one set up regardless if you are wealthy or not. Plus have you ever entered into a financial arrangement without a contract? You probably haven’t, so why forgo a prenup when it does involve everything you own? Which ever you decide, always remember: There is a difference between marrying the love of your life and divorcing the man you thought was the love of your life.

This Is Why I Ghost

Text response is declined.

As a relationship coach, I will get a lot of flack for admitting that I ghost, but hear me out. Ghosting, is when you are speaking to someone and everything seems to be going so well and then BAM! They are never to be heard from again. You start to over-analyze every little thing you said and did the last time you talked to them or saw them. But, more often than not, the real reason they ghosted has a lot more to do with what they know of your character than them being an asshole.

I have always been very blunt and to the point, some can handle it and some cannot. But, if I stop having feelings for someone I will always slowly but surely stop responding, reason being is I have tried it both ways. I have always been upfront and honest that I like someone else or if I just do not think I am compatible with him anymore. And each time I took the awkward, but respectful way and go out of my way and tell them why I am not feeling them anymore, I would get so many obscenities sent my way.

I have been ghosted on too so it doesn’t matter who you are, you will get ghosted at least once in your life. I had one guy who said he hated ghosting and that if we were ever incompatible to please tell him. He had someone he liked ghost him and so he knew how bad it felt. He even said if she would have sent a text to me; that would have been better than silence. He and I were doing ok and everything appeared to be going well and then he just stopped responding. I even sent him a text saying, “Hey, if you met someone that is perfectly ok, just let me know” I received no response from him. So I let it go. That Friday, I am walking my dogs and guess who is outside my building with beer and trying to get into my gated community? Yep, it was the ghoster. What’s hilarious is the new girl he was dating lived in my exact building, we have 8 buildings in my complex so there’s karma for ya.

So as you can see ghosting sometimes has to occur and yes it is still immature and if the world were an expert on communication then we would never have to come up with these ridiculous terms, but with technology advancing everyday, expect ghosting to happen more and more, unfortunately it is here to stay. Just remember when you do it karma always comes back around.

My Spine Surgeon Asked Me To Abort My Child

My spine surgeon asked me to have an abortion, because I was scheduled to have an expensive surgery.

I met my spine surgeon, Atiq Durrani in the summer of 2008, I previously had 4 failed spinal fusion’s in my lower back and I was desperate for the pain to stop. He probably could sense my desperation and in his sick mind he knew I would agree to any surgery if he told me I would be pain free. And he did promise the world and all the pretty flowers and butterflies that would come with it.

I was 19 years old when I had my first spinal fusion surgery. I went to the only spine surgeon I knew because a friend’s mom worked with him. I had my first surgery in the fall of 2002 and it was supposed to have gone flawless, but I still had pain afterwards. I was accused of being a hypochondriac, which I was used to at this point. I had Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, a connective tissue disorder affecting the collagen. Collagen is the glue that holds the body together, such as your eyes, bones, joints, disks, organs, ligaments, tendons. But I wasn’t diagnosed until 2008, so I had had a lot of surgeries correcting what my body was doing naturally, which was to hyper-extend. I can dislocated every joint in my body easily because of my EDS.

I saw another spine surgeon after I was annoyed with the other doctor and this surgeon said that the other surgeon should have taken out the disk on top of the S1-L5 as well, which was the L5-L4, so I scheduled surgery and once I woke up I was told my old surgery also hadn’t fused. That was the first failed fusion, there would be 3 more failed fusion’s in my lumbar spine. I would find out later that having EDS will affect my spinal fusion and most of the time they do not fuse on their own because of the constant hyper-extension our body does. After two more failed fusions, I finally asked my EDS doctor for help and he highly recommended Atiq Durrani, he called him a pioneer for EDSers and their bones/joints.

When I met Dr Durrani, I scheduled my first spine surgery with him the same day. My first surgery would take place at the end of November 2008. A couple of weeks before my surgery, his nurse called me to tell me, my surgery had to be moved to December because my spine surgeon had to go to Saudi Arabia, because a prince fell off his camel and needed surgery. Now, at 24 this seemed incredibly reasonable to me since he was from Pakistan and he called himself the Prince of Pakistan. He has a classic case of grandiose delusions. This was my first clue that he wasn’t who he said he was, but I believed his scam.

After that surgery, I felt great. I knew in my heart that this surgery worked. However, I had never asked what he would be using to fuse my vertebrates together. My previous doctors used the bone from my hip, but I never thought to ask Durrani what he would use. I was very ignorant on this subject and all I wanted was to be pain-free. Which happens to a lot of other people too. They are in so much pain that they think a referral from another doctor is legit, I was referred by a doctor I thought I trusted, but now I know I shouldn’t have.

Because I have EDS, I was a prime candidate for him to suggest more surgeries, which of course meant more money for him. My next visit, I told him my neck had been bothering me and I wanted an MRI to see what was happening. Once the results were in, he suggested more surgery, but this time he said he would take out the C5-C6 and then in a year he would remove the C6-C7, this was his tactic with me. He knew he would get away with making me go under anesthesia so many times. I had three more surgeries for a total of 5, he went back into my lumbar spine to correct a level and to fuse a new one, he also went back into my cervical spine twice, which one surgery was to fuse my C4-C5 and C6-C7 and then to fuse my C1-C2. My last surgery was April 22, 2013, I was one of the last people to have a surgery performed by him at West Chester Hospital.

This is how a surgeon can screw you over fairly easy without your knowledge and with the hospital encouraging it all the while because they are making more money. My surgeon Atiq Durrani worked at Cincinnati Children’s Hospital first, he was subsequently fired from there for having sex with his physician assistant and allowing his first year fellows finish his surgeries. Remember the Prince of Saudi Arabia falling off his camel? Well, in reality he was fired and had to wait for his surgical privileges to be active at a new hospital before he could do my surgery, but he came up with this lie to make himself look bigger than he was. And instead of marking his license for being fired, Cincinnati Children’s Hospital covered why he left. They claim he left because of contracts, but that was a lie. Had they done the right thing this domino effect would never have happened.

Without my knowledge, he fused my vertebrates with a stem cell growth protein called BMP-2, I was never advised he would use this, nor was I in a case study. With regards to my neck surgeries he decided to use another stem cell growth protein called Puregen. This was not even FDA approved for use in animals, let alone humans. He also used the BMP-2 product in my neck, which was strictly forbidden by the FDA, it is only approved for the lumbar spine. And would use a third called Trinity in my final surgery with him which was my C1-C2 fusion.

But because these products are new and Puregen hasn’t been researched and approved by the FDA, we only know that it causes swallowing problems, increases your chance of cancer, and causes infertility. Had I known all of these things ahead of time, I wouldn’t have allowed Dr Durrani to perform one surgery on me, let alone 5. The last hospital he worked at which was West Chester Hospital, a smaller branch of University of Cincinnati, actually would stock the operating rooms with Puregen for other surgeons to use it. My surgeon even created a distribution company to funnel in this crap. Had he not been caught, he would have had a hospital wing in his honor for performing the most spine surgeries in Ohio and they allowed him 2-3 operating rooms at a time, which was completely unheard of!

In the spring of 2012, I had just healed from another surgery and my thoracic spine had been hurting me for months. I had another MRI this time on my thoracic and it showed herniated disks at T1-T3, but he said I needed to have surgery on T3-T5, which showed no major issues on my reports. I scheduled the surgery for July 2012. I became pregnant in June. I told him that I was pregnant his response was that I shouldn’t have the baby because my spine is so bad that it would snap in two. Knowing I was about to have thoracic spine surgery and my family doctor had found cancer cells in my uterus, I aborted my child, but I did not have the surgery. In his reports of this canceled surgery he leaves everything blank on why I didn’t have the surgery. Shocker.

In August 2013, Atiq Durrani was arrested on 46 felony counts of medicare fraud, prescription fraud, allowing another surgeon to perform his surgeries using his name and performing unnecessary surgeries, he was facing many years in prison. He fled the country in December 2013 back to Pakistan. I messaged him after I heard that he had fled, he messaged me back fairly quickly and told me to pray for his family. That is when I knew he was guilty. You do not run across the world if you are innocent. That’s when I contacted an attorney who had previous Durrani patients already and was suing the hospitals that Durrani worked for and suing the manufacturers of BMP-2 and Puregen.

I found out what Durrani really did to me after that. I am thankful I didn’t have thoracic spine surgery with him, he has butchered a lot of people and some have died and others have committed suicide because of the pain. I wrote this article to show you that we have no idea who our doctors are, I can’t say for certain that my surgeon even went to medical school since the one he lists says he is not an alumni. The medical world has changed, we used to become doctors to help and to save the world, now they do it for the money and the benefits of being called a doctor, it has become so ego-based. I know there are still some good doctors out there, but you have to dig for these anomalies.

In Ohio, I have seen over 10 surgeons all refusing to help me and I am even in Columbus, which is 2 hours from Cincinnati. What Durrani left in his wake is my cervical spine that isn’t fused at C1-C2, my C4-C7 is not completely fused, my thoracic spine T1-T3 is herinated and impinged on my spinal cord because of my spine breaking due to bone overgrowth from C4-C7 due to the BMP-2 and Puregen use. With BMP-2 and/or Puregen there is no way to remove it from your body, so I will be forever looking over my shoulder for the next ball to drop.

Atiq Durrani is in Lahore, Pakistan performing surgeries on his own people and calls himself a medical diplomat for the United States, he can’t even step foot on our soil, but is a diplomat? All the while, his girlfriend an American from Ohio is flying back and forth bringing him medical supplies that he cannot obtain in Pakistan. Sounds like besides having to live in Pakistan, he’s made out like a bandit. We cannot extradite him due to the iffy extradition laws we have with Pakistan.

I think about my decision to have an abortion daily, terminating a pregnancy is never an easy decision regardless of the reason. It took me a couple of years, but I know that because of all that I was dealing with at the time of my pregnancy that it was the smartest thing to do. If I could go back and change that decision, I wouldn’t because of the stress and pain I was in. Having a child is supposed to be a happy time and I was not dealing with happy circumstances, nor was I ready to deal with the father for the rest of my life. Everything happens for a reason. I know the next time I am pregnant it will be under better circumstances and with a better result.

Currently, I am trying to get Ohio to make it mandatory that every doctor or surgeon videotape’s each and every surgery and procedure. This will help for malpractice claims for both sides of the fence. Our legal system is bogged down enough, so this will make it easier and harder for malpractice claims to be filed. It would be a win/win. I wrote about my surgeon and how to protect yourself from your doctors, which is out next year called, Terrorism in America’s Hospitals. Learn how to protect yourself and research as much as you can about your doctor and the procedure before you agree to allow a total stranger to change how your body will function. You will have to deal with the effects longer than it takes for him to spend the money from each surgery and/or procedure that they performed on you.