Why Everyone Should Get a Prenuptial Agreement

When you are newly engaged the last thing you want to think about is divorce. But, since divorce rates are 1 in 3, it’s something that everyone must think about. It’s not an easy subject to bring up to your soon to be husband or wife, but trust me this is a necessary evil. With prenups you both can determine the terms of what will happen if in fact you two decide to break up.

Divorce is a touchy subject. People tend to think that their marriage will be the one out of their friends or family to last forever. Which I personally hope the relationship does last a lifetime. But, if in fact something changes at least you know that this is printed and signed by both of you. Now you can be as detailed as you want to be or you can make it simple and have the guidelines written up for certain circumstances that may occur in your marriage. Having it all mapped out will make things go so much smoother in the end. I don’t care if neither of you have a dime to your name, it’s better to be safe, than sorry. And if one of you had an inheritance before you got married, then that money should be put into a trust, so your spouse can’t try to take that money away from you. Especially since it was a premarital asset.

Prenups can include what happens if you have children, who is taking custody of them and the amount of child support will be included for the custodial parent. It can also dictate the amount of spousal support they can receive based on the amount of time you two were married. There are other factors that you can put in the prenup depending on your state and that state’s laws.

Divorce is something that needs to be discussed before you are married, regardless if you want to discuss it or not. When people are angry they tend to do all the things they promised they would never do. You cannot determine if they will stand by their word when divorce is imminent. Everything that was said is thrown out the window and the claws or gloves come out. But, if you had a prenup to begin with, then they really have no way to try to take more than they originally said they would. Now prenups can be challenged, but most judges will not overturn the prenup unless there was fraud involved and if they do think fraud is involved, they better have a good case to prove it.

I know most think prenups aren’t necessary, but because of the high divorce rates and the many people who have had to battle their exes for premarital assets, proves that having a prenup is your safest bet. It protects you and your spouse. People are also including a clause in their prenup for their dogs and cats. There is nothing more heartbreaking than losing your spouse and then losing your dog. So please if you do end up going the prenup route, think of every thing possible to include in the document. And if you two never divorce then no harm, no foul.


5 Ways Your Relationship Will Fail (And Why You Are To Blame)

veryone wants relationships to work out and stand the test of time. Unfortunately, if you are playing games with your love, it’s only a matter of time before they run from the relationship you are trying to build. Here are the top games women play while in a relationship.

1. Insecurity. A lot of women are insecure and think that someone couldn’t possibly love them for who they are. Instead of working on themselves to fix their insecurities, they tend to test their partners loyalty. Pushing your partner away is a big reason why they lose their relationships.

2. Testing him. Testing your partner results in them not wanting to deal with the constant strain and push-pull that you continually show them. This involves you telling them they can leave anytime they want, or not telling them exactly what is wrong or why you are saying this.

3. Liquid courage. Many girls drink alcohol and text their partners, saying things they wouldn’t say sober. Every little thing that has bugged you comes out in this irrational state. If you keep this up they will definitely know that you are more in love with drama than them.

4. Over-analyzing. This is something women are great at and are usually born with. If he is late, you make up so many excuses as to why, instead of realizing traffic is the reason. Maybe he really did fall asleep and isn’t trying to have sex with that co-worker you met a while ago. (You know, the one who is gorgeous and has legs for days.) Give him some credit and don’t think the worst of him until he gives you a reason to think that way.

5. He isn’t a priority. Not making him a priority is another push-pull game people use to make sure they keep their partners at arms length so as not get hurt. If you aren’t ready for someone to be in your life, do not string him along. This will come back to bite you in the form of karma, and when you are ready for someone to be in your life, they won’t be ready for a relationship.

Relationships are hard work, but a lot of people start to run as soon as an issue arises. And if you constantly run when times get tough, you will never know how to deal with other problems in your own life. Make sure you are truly ready for love; if you are not, you aren’t just hurting yourself.

Why Dating Him For His Money Will Never Make You Happy

Don’t be a gold digger, OK?

I was walking down my street with my dogs yesterday and I overheard two girls talking about the new man she had met. They were probably in their early twenties, and the shocking thing that she said stayed with me. “He only makes 200 thousand a year.”

This is frustrating, especially with my profession. I am trying to get women to change certain behaviors, and this statement from someone who probably hasn’t graduated college yet is just baffling. When did dating change so much that women think that their man’s money is theirs? I won’t let men off the hook because I have dealt with some men who have lived off their girlfriends.

So when did this get so far that you have to consider if you will date someone by their income? Now this, of course, flies out the window if you yourself make a great salary and you want an equal partner. But, if you do not make “X” number of dollars, then your requirements are far-fetched, and this is why we have the stereotype that women are gold diggers.

Where did this sense of entitlement come from? It’s nice to have someone spoil you, but if that’s your first and only requirement, there’s a problem. What happened to love? And more importantly, what happened to the independent woman ideology? We have grown past this ideology, and it makes me sad.

I learned that you will never get anything for free. If someone gives you something then you return the sentiment. Nowadays, most are more concerned with what type of car they drive and what they can get from someone instead of caring about who they are actually with.

With technology changing everyday, it’s a lot easier to meet people, but it’s also a lot easier to find the wrong type of people. We have dating websites for women and men to find people who have great incomes. My question to the people signing up for these websites is, why are you OK with someone wanting to date you just because of your financial status? You can’t think that the relationship will last based on the superficial.

People need to start caring more about providing for themselves instead of finding someone to take care of them. Your money isn’t his and neither is his money yours. Unless you marry the person, how much they make shouldn’t be your problem or in this case your meal ticket.
Learn to take care of yourself and to make money for the lifestyle you want to have. No one can take that away from you, and trust me you will appreciate it a lot more knowing that.

NotMom Summit in Cleveland on October 9th and 10th

I am proud to be apart of the first NotMom Summit in Cleveland, Ohio on October 9th and 10th. I will be speaking on the 10th, I will discuss how to go about telling new love prospects your stance on not wanting children. Below is the link to the New York Times article that was written about the summit a couple of weeks ago. I hope to see some of you in October.

The NotMom Interview: Relationship Coach Christy Goldstein