This Is Why I Ghost

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As a relationship coach, I will get a lot of flack for admitting that I ghost, but hear me out. Ghosting, is when you are speaking to someone and everything seems to be going so well and then BAM! They are never to be heard from again. You start to over-analyze every little thing you said and did the last time you talked to them or saw them. But, more often than not, the real reason they ghosted has a lot more to do with what they know of your character than them being an asshole.

I have always been very blunt and to the point, some can handle it and some cannot. But, if I stop having feelings for someone I will always slowly but surely stop responding, reason being is I have tried it both ways. I have always been upfront and honest that I like someone else or if I just do not think I am compatible with him anymore. And each time I took the awkward, but respectful way and go out of my way and tell them why I am not feeling them anymore, I would get so many obscenities sent my way.

I have been ghosted on too so it doesn’t matter who you are, you will get ghosted at least once in your life. I had one guy who said he hated ghosting and that if we were ever incompatible to please tell him. He had someone he liked ghost him and so he knew how bad it felt. He even said if she would have sent a text to me; that would have been better than silence. He and I were doing ok and everything appeared to be going well and then he just stopped responding. I even sent him a text saying, “Hey, if you met someone that is perfectly ok, just let me know” I received no response from him. So I let it go. That Friday, I am walking my dogs and guess who is outside my building with beer and trying to get into my gated community? Yep, it was the ghoster. What’s hilarious is the new girl he was dating lived in my exact building, we have 8 buildings in my complex so there’s karma for ya.

So as you can see ghosting sometimes has to occur and yes it is still immature and if the world were an expert on communication then we would never have to come up with these ridiculous terms, but with technology advancing everyday, expect ghosting to happen more and more, unfortunately it is here to stay. Just remember when you do it karma always comes back around.

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My Spine Surgeon Asked Me To Abort My Child

My spine surgeon asked me to have an abortion, because I was scheduled to have an expensive surgery.

I met my spine surgeon, Atiq Durrani in the summer of 2008, I previously had 4 failed spinal fusion’s in my lower back and I was desperate for the pain to stop. He probably could sense my desperation and in his sick mind he knew I would agree to any surgery if he told me I would be pain free. And he did promise the world and all the pretty flowers and butterflies that would come with it.

I was 19 years old when I had my first spinal fusion surgery. I went to the only spine surgeon I knew because a friend’s mom worked with him. I had my first surgery in the fall of 2002 and it was supposed to have gone flawless, but I still had pain afterwards. I was accused of being a hypochondriac, which I was used to at this point. I had Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, a connective tissue disorder affecting the collagen. Collagen is the glue that holds the body together, such as your eyes, bones, joints, disks, organs, ligaments, tendons. But I wasn’t diagnosed until 2008, so I had had a lot of surgeries correcting what my body was doing naturally, which was to hyper-extend. I can dislocated every joint in my body easily because of my EDS.

I saw another spine surgeon after I was annoyed with the other doctor and this surgeon said that the other surgeon should have taken out the disk on top of the S1-L5 as well, which was the L5-L4, so I scheduled surgery and once I woke up I was told my old surgery also hadn’t fused. That was the first failed fusion, there would be 3 more failed fusion’s in my lumbar spine. I would find out later that having EDS will affect my spinal fusion and most of the time they do not fuse on their own because of the constant hyper-extension our body does. After two more failed fusions, I finally asked my EDS doctor for help and he highly recommended Atiq Durrani, he called him a pioneer for EDSers and their bones/joints.

When I met Dr Durrani, I scheduled my first spine surgery with him the same day. My first surgery would take place at the end of November 2008. A couple of weeks before my surgery, his nurse called me to tell me, my surgery had to be moved to December because my spine surgeon had to go to Saudi Arabia, because a prince fell off his camel and needed surgery. Now, at 24 this seemed incredibly reasonable to me since he was from Pakistan and he called himself the Prince of Pakistan. He has a classic case of grandiose delusions. This was my first clue that he wasn’t who he said he was, but I believed his scam.

After that surgery, I felt great. I knew in my heart that this surgery worked. However, I had never asked what he would be using to fuse my vertebrates together. My previous doctors used the bone from my hip, but I never thought to ask Durrani what he would use. I was very ignorant on this subject and all I wanted was to be pain-free. Which happens to a lot of other people too. They are in so much pain that they think a referral from another doctor is legit, I was referred by a doctor I thought I trusted, but now I know I shouldn’t have.

Because I have EDS, I was a prime candidate for him to suggest more surgeries, which of course meant more money for him. My next visit, I told him my neck had been bothering me and I wanted an MRI to see what was happening. Once the results were in, he suggested more surgery, but this time he said he would take out the C5-C6 and then in a year he would remove the C6-C7, this was his tactic with me. He knew he would get away with making me go under anesthesia so many times. I had three more surgeries for a total of 5, he went back into my lumbar spine to correct a level and to fuse a new one, he also went back into my cervical spine twice, which one surgery was to fuse my C4-C5 and C6-C7 and then to fuse my C1-C2. My last surgery was April 22, 2013, I was one of the last people to have a surgery performed by him at West Chester Hospital.

This is how a surgeon can screw you over fairly easy without your knowledge and with the hospital encouraging it all the while because they are making more money. My surgeon Atiq Durrani worked at Cincinnati Children’s Hospital first, he was subsequently fired from there for having sex with his physician assistant and allowing his first year fellows finish his surgeries. Remember the Prince of Saudi Arabia falling off his camel? Well, in reality he was fired and had to wait for his surgical privileges to be active at a new hospital before he could do my surgery, but he came up with this lie to make himself look bigger than he was. And instead of marking his license for being fired, Cincinnati Children’s Hospital covered why he left. They claim he left because of contracts, but that was a lie. Had they done the right thing this domino effect would never have happened.

Without my knowledge, he fused my vertebrates with a stem cell growth protein called BMP-2, I was never advised he would use this, nor was I in a case study. With regards to my neck surgeries he decided to use another stem cell growth protein called Puregen. This was not even FDA approved for use in animals, let alone humans. He also used the BMP-2 product in my neck, which was strictly forbidden by the FDA, it is only approved for the lumbar spine. And would use a third called Trinity in my final surgery with him which was my C1-C2 fusion.

But because these products are new and Puregen hasn’t been researched and approved by the FDA, we only know that it causes swallowing problems, increases your chance of cancer, and causes infertility. Had I known all of these things ahead of time, I wouldn’t have allowed Dr Durrani to perform one surgery on me, let alone 5. The last hospital he worked at which was West Chester Hospital, a smaller branch of University of Cincinnati, actually would stock the operating rooms with Puregen for other surgeons to use it. My surgeon even created a distribution company to funnel in this crap. Had he not been caught, he would have had a hospital wing in his honor for performing the most spine surgeries in Ohio and they allowed him 2-3 operating rooms at a time, which was completely unheard of!

In the spring of 2012, I had just healed from another surgery and my thoracic spine had been hurting me for months. I had another MRI this time on my thoracic and it showed herniated disks at T1-T3, but he said I needed to have surgery on T3-T5, which showed no major issues on my reports. I scheduled the surgery for July 2012. I became pregnant in June. I told him that I was pregnant his response was that I shouldn’t have the baby because my spine is so bad that it would snap in two. Knowing I was about to have thoracic spine surgery and my family doctor had found cancer cells in my uterus, I aborted my child, but I did not have the surgery. In his reports of this canceled surgery he leaves everything blank on why I didn’t have the surgery. Shocker.

In August 2013, Atiq Durrani was arrested on 46 felony counts of medicare fraud, prescription fraud, allowing another surgeon to perform his surgeries using his name and performing unnecessary surgeries, he was facing many years in prison. He fled the country in December 2013 back to Pakistan. I messaged him after I heard that he had fled, he messaged me back fairly quickly and told me to pray for his family. That is when I knew he was guilty. You do not run across the world if you are innocent. That’s when I contacted an attorney who had previous Durrani patients already and was suing the hospitals that Durrani worked for and suing the manufacturers of BMP-2 and Puregen.

I found out what Durrani really did to me after that. I am thankful I didn’t have thoracic spine surgery with him, he has butchered a lot of people and some have died and others have committed suicide because of the pain. I wrote this article to show you that we have no idea who our doctors are, I can’t say for certain that my surgeon even went to medical school since the one he lists says he is not an alumni. The medical world has changed, we used to become doctors to help and to save the world, now they do it for the money and the benefits of being called a doctor, it has become so ego-based. I know there are still some good doctors out there, but you have to dig for these anomalies.

In Ohio, I have seen over 10 surgeons all refusing to help me and I am even in Columbus, which is 2 hours from Cincinnati. What Durrani left in his wake is my cervical spine that isn’t fused at C1-C2, my C4-C7 is not completely fused, my thoracic spine T1-T3 is herinated and impinged on my spinal cord because of my spine breaking due to bone overgrowth from C4-C7 due to the BMP-2 and Puregen use. With BMP-2 and/or Puregen there is no way to remove it from your body, so I will be forever looking over my shoulder for the next ball to drop.

Atiq Durrani is in Lahore, Pakistan performing surgeries on his own people and calls himself a medical diplomat for the United States, he can’t even step foot on our soil, but is a diplomat? All the while, his girlfriend an American from Ohio is flying back and forth bringing him medical supplies that he cannot obtain in Pakistan. Sounds like besides having to live in Pakistan, he’s made out like a bandit. We cannot extradite him due to the iffy extradition laws we have with Pakistan.

I think about my decision to have an abortion daily, terminating a pregnancy is never an easy decision regardless of the reason. It took me a couple of years, but I know that because of all that I was dealing with at the time of my pregnancy that it was the smartest thing to do. If I could go back and change that decision, I wouldn’t because of the stress and pain I was in. Having a child is supposed to be a happy time and I was not dealing with happy circumstances, nor was I ready to deal with the father for the rest of my life. Everything happens for a reason. I know the next time I am pregnant it will be under better circumstances and with a better result.

Currently, I am trying to get Ohio to make it mandatory that every doctor or surgeon videotape’s each and every surgery and procedure. This will help for malpractice claims for both sides of the fence. Our legal system is bogged down enough, so this will make it easier and harder for malpractice claims to be filed. It would be a win/win. I wrote about my surgeon and how to protect yourself from your doctors, which is out next year called, Terrorism in America’s Hospitals. Learn how to protect yourself and research as much as you can about your doctor and the procedure before you agree to allow a total stranger to change how your body will function. You will have to deal with the effects longer than it takes for him to spend the money from each surgery and/or procedure that they performed on you.

Dating While Disabled

I’m happy to announce my book, Dating While Disabled will be out soon! It was slated for October 25th, but due to higher demands, I’m releasing it in June! Stay tuned for launch dates in the coming month!

Dating While Disabled will cover all of your dating needs! It will go over everything you and your partner or potential partner will need to know about dating someone with an illness!

Stay Tuned! Happy Dating!!

What a sex coach actually does.

For the past few months I have been bombarded with questions on what my job actually entails, so today I am going to explain the ins and outs of my job, pun intended.

First off, I DO NOT have sex with my clients. Nor do I use my body to show them what I am speaking about and no I do not use my hands to show them how to masturbate correctly. Now, there are sex coaches who do this and I am not knocking what they do professionally, but I never wanted to be that type of sex coach. Later this year I will be taking classes to be a certified clinical sexologist which covers a wide range of topics, such as: psychology, sex abuse, sexual dysfunctions, legal and unethical practices, etc. I also will be getting my sex educator certificate. As you can see there are a wide variety of topics when it comes to sex. And sex is the only thing in this country or even abroad that isn’t taught, your ideas of what a woman or man likes all comes from secondhand knowledge, which can be from past sex partners, friends, or even family.

I wanted to change how the topic of sex is viewed and for sex to become less awkward for parents and their kids/teens to bring sex up without skirting over the major points that need to be talked about. With so many sexually transmitted diseases and incorrect information on protection, it is necessary to discuss it at length, regardless of the persons comfort levels. The percentage rates of HPV, Herpes, and other highly contracted STD’s could go down with the correct information and training being shared to the public. Young adults and even most adults think they are invincible and will not contract a STD, but it’s that ignorance that causes the statistics to skyrocket.

So no matter what you may think of my job, please be safe. If not for yourself, do it for your partner. They shouldn’t have to deal with a lifelong decision that you made without their knowledge or consent just because you think you are superman or superwoman for those 30 seconds or 30 minutes. Happy Dating and remember to WRAP IT UP!!

Use These Tips To Give Your Man The Best Blowjob Of His Life

Every man loves getting a blowjob, but you might have been doing it wrong all along.

We all know men love blow jobs or they are sometimes called fellatio. But, knowing how to do them right is something women have struggled to master. I am going to give you a few tips on giving a great blow job to keep your man happy and keep running back for more.

I have always been a fan of the blow job, but I do have an oral fixation so it has come naturally to me and with a lot of other women that have oral fixations as well, which normally makes it easier for them to master because of this. I like to do them especially in the morning, because most men have morning hard ons and usually they do not have time for sex if they are like me and hit the snooze button a lot. So to keep your man thinking about you all day long; a morning BJ is a great way to accomplish that!

Blow jobs can be very hard to master if you have a gag reflex; plus you have to worry about teeth placement and multitasking with your hands as well. With girls that want to practice on something else other than a penis; you can always use a banana to help with your gag reflex or your man will always oblige you to be the willing participate in your practicing phase.

I focus on the tip of the head and underneath the shaft. If you swirl your tongue and suck around their opening of their external urethral orifice, which is where their semen comes out (for those of you that do not know that word) they will start bunching up very quickly with their abs and legs if done correctly. The head and underneath their shaft are their most sensitive spots. While you are doing this use your hands. But always make sure you have lotion or oil to massage their shaft it will feel a lot better for them. I use a twisting technique while I am sucking their balls as well.

Men love to have their balls sucked, there are a thousand nerve endings in their testicles, so do not forget to play with them! In the beginning start at their balls and then lick all the way up the shaft and some men will want a finger in their ass while you are giving them a blow job. But. not all men are like this. This is something you will have to ease into, because they may not have had it done before and so go in slowly to see their reaction, but remember to use lube on your finger! If you have long nails I recommend skipping this part. While you are sucking the head, I like to take my tongue and lick up and down his shaft while pulling the skin up with my mouth, it’s similar to you sucking his head, but just be gentle sucking the sides. Men can be very rough when they masturbate alone, so do not feel like you have to be too gentle with jacking him off especially if you are using lube or oil.

Then, there is the age old question spit or swallow. Some, when they are so aroused they continue to cum for a moment and anymore sucking or playing with them will make it feel uncomfortable or too much to handle. So depending on the man stick to the tip of the head while they start to cum and you will be able to tell when it’s time to stop.

Blow jobs are loved by all men and if you can perfect it you will be able to keep them happy throughout the day and they will continue to think about that morning with you. Now if you two have more time, then give him some time to recover and then go for round two, but this time involving you!

6 Signs He’s Just Not That Into You

Dating can be rough sometimes…

The Signs: He’s Just Not That Into You

We’ve all read the book or you at least saw the movie, He’s Just Not That Into You. The book and the movie go through certain scenarios that shows women that the guy was never interested in her to begin with and she completely concocted a love story with an unwilling participate. I do love the movie(I know, I know I am old-er) I wanted to give my two cents on signs never to overlook!

1. You haven’t seen him in weeks, but when you message him he tells you that he “needs space.” Here’s a thought how about we send you on a one-way trip to mars to ensure your “space”. But, in all seriousness, how many of you have gotten this message and you think to yourself, “We couldn’t be further from each other than my once upon a time dream to be a Victoria Secret model.”

2. He’s always picking a fight with you… I didn’t know what type of cheese you wanted meant so much to you.

3. You get that out of the blue text, “So babe I think we should break up.” Well, I think you should go screw yourself, but hey we can’t always get everything we want.

4. He goes to hang with his boys and then when you see him afterwards (whether that is a day or a month later) he’s acting like you are the worst person in the world. Well, no I am not the worst person in the world; I would say your friends are, after all they are inaccurately judging me and I haven’t even met them yet. Which makes me wonder what “truths” you are telling them.

5. You had a great day and you wanted to share this with your “so-called boyfriend or FWB”, when you call him, he sends you straight to voicemail. So then you text him and he only types, “K” Well, just so you know your “K” just pissed my once happy face off.

6. He’s selfish in bed. He couldn’t get any closer to the marathon man if he tried, then after his 5 seconds, he doesn’t even help you out. Break out that vibrator ladies, they are more dependable. :):)

Happy Dating!

The Sexpert Christy Goldstein

Secrets To Drama-Free Love Was Published Today!

Hello everyone! I am happy to say that my first book that I cowrote, Secrets To Drama-Free Love was published today and is available on Amazon.com. My chapter in the book is titled, The Secret To Not Allowing Life Events Define Who You Are And Where You Are Going. In my chapter I discuss how I dealt with the many people in my life who thought because I look completely normal and healthy, that I was lying about my illness or that I was exaggerating the extent of my illness.

So many people have something in their lives that they wish they can change, but since we are not capable to turn the clocks back to make that change, we need to learn how to accept our past decisions, our failures, our white lies, or anything else that affected our lives in a negative way due to our past decisions. Since we can not change these past events, I will show you how to move forward and get everything you wanted. Everyone is given a purpose and it is up to you to figure out what that purpose is for you and to implement it. It doesn’t matter how far behind you are, due to life moving forward with or without you. Even if your personal timeline isn’t achieved, you will still be happy and you will not care that it took you longer than you preferred. You especially will not care about that timeframe, especially once your goal is accomplished.

 

http://www.amazon.com/Secrets-Drama-Free-Love-Lorii-Abela/dp/0997260130/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1457702658&sr=8-1&keywords=christy+goldstein