Dating While Disabled

I’m happy to announce my book, Dating While Disabled will be out soon! It was slated for October 25th, but due to higher demands, I’m releasing it in June! Stay tuned for launch dates in the coming month!

Dating While Disabled will cover all of your dating needs! It will go over everything you and your partner or potential partner will need to know about dating someone with an illness!

Stay Tuned! Happy Dating!!

What a sex coach actually does.

For the past few months I have been bombarded with questions on what my job actually entails, so today I am going to explain the ins and outs of my job, pun intended.

First off, I DO NOT have sex with my clients. Nor do I use my body to show them what I am speaking about and no I do not use my hands to show them how to masturbate correctly. Now, there are sex coaches who do this and I am not knocking what they do professionally, but I never wanted to be that type of sex coach. Later this year I will be taking classes to be a certified clinical sexologist which covers a wide range of topics, such as: psychology, sex abuse, sexual dysfunctions, legal and unethical practices, etc. I also will be getting my sex educator certificate. As you can see there are a wide variety of topics when it comes to sex. And sex is the only thing in this country or even abroad that isn’t taught, your ideas of what a woman or man likes all comes from secondhand knowledge, which can be from past sex partners, friends, or even family.

I wanted to change how the topic of sex is viewed and for sex to become less awkward for parents and their kids/teens to bring sex up without skirting over the major points that need to be talked about. With so many sexually transmitted diseases and incorrect information on protection, it is necessary to discuss it at length, regardless of the persons comfort levels. The percentage rates of HPV, Herpes, and other highly contracted STD’s could go down with the correct information and training being shared to the public. Young adults and even most adults think they are invincible and will not contract a STD, but it’s that ignorance that causes the statistics to skyrocket.

So no matter what you may think of my job, please be safe. If not for yourself, do it for your partner. They shouldn’t have to deal with a lifelong decision that you made without their knowledge or consent just because you think you are superman or superwoman for those 30 seconds or 30 minutes. Happy Dating and remember to WRAP IT UP!!

Use These Tips To Give Your Man The Best Blowjob Of His Life

Every man loves getting a blowjob, but you might have been doing it wrong all along.

We all know men love blow jobs or they are sometimes called fellatio. But, knowing how to do them right is something women have struggled to master. I am going to give you a few tips on giving a great blow job to keep your man happy and keep running back for more.

I have always been a fan of the blow job, but I do have an oral fixation so it has come naturally to me and with a lot of other women that have oral fixations as well, which normally makes it easier for them to master because of this. I like to do them especially in the morning, because most men have morning hard ons and usually they do not have time for sex if they are like me and hit the snooze button a lot. So to keep your man thinking about you all day long; a morning BJ is a great way to accomplish that!

Blow jobs can be very hard to master if you have a gag reflex; plus you have to worry about teeth placement and multitasking with your hands as well. With girls that want to practice on something else other than a penis; you can always use a banana to help with your gag reflex or your man will always oblige you to be the willing participate in your practicing phase.

I focus on the tip of the head and underneath the shaft. If you swirl your tongue and suck around their opening of their external urethral orifice, which is where their semen comes out (for those of you that do not know that word) they will start bunching up very quickly with their abs and legs if done correctly. The head and underneath their shaft are their most sensitive spots. While you are doing this use your hands. But always make sure you have lotion or oil to massage their shaft it will feel a lot better for them. I use a twisting technique while I am sucking their balls as well.

Men love to have their balls sucked, there are a thousand nerve endings in their testicles, so do not forget to play with them! In the beginning start at their balls and then lick all the way up the shaft and some men will want a finger in their ass while you are giving them a blow job. But. not all men are like this. This is something you will have to ease into, because they may not have had it done before and so go in slowly to see their reaction, but remember to use lube on your finger! If you have long nails I recommend skipping this part. While you are sucking the head, I like to take my tongue and lick up and down his shaft while pulling the skin up with my mouth, it’s similar to you sucking his head, but just be gentle sucking the sides. Men can be very rough when they masturbate alone, so do not feel like you have to be too gentle with jacking him off especially if you are using lube or oil.

Then, there is the age old question spit or swallow. Some, when they are so aroused they continue to cum for a moment and anymore sucking or playing with them will make it feel uncomfortable or too much to handle. So depending on the man stick to the tip of the head while they start to cum and you will be able to tell when it’s time to stop.

Blow jobs are loved by all men and if you can perfect it you will be able to keep them happy throughout the day and they will continue to think about that morning with you. Now if you two have more time, then give him some time to recover and then go for round two, but this time involving you!

6 Signs He’s Just Not That Into You

Dating can be rough sometimes…

The Signs: He’s Just Not That Into You

We’ve all read the book or you at least saw the movie, He’s Just Not That Into You. The book and the movie go through certain scenarios that shows women that the guy was never interested in her to begin with and she completely concocted a love story with an unwilling participate. I do love the movie(I know, I know I am old-er) I wanted to give my two cents on signs never to overlook!

1. You haven’t seen him in weeks, but when you message him he tells you that he “needs space.” Here’s a thought how about we send you on a one-way trip to mars to ensure your “space”. But, in all seriousness, how many of you have gotten this message and you think to yourself, “We couldn’t be further from each other than my once upon a time dream to be a Victoria Secret model.”

2. He’s always picking a fight with you… I didn’t know what type of cheese you wanted meant so much to you.

3. You get that out of the blue text, “So babe I think we should break up.” Well, I think you should go screw yourself, but hey we can’t always get everything we want.

4. He goes to hang with his boys and then when you see him afterwards (whether that is a day or a month later) he’s acting like you are the worst person in the world. Well, no I am not the worst person in the world; I would say your friends are, after all they are inaccurately judging me and I haven’t even met them yet. Which makes me wonder what “truths” you are telling them.

5. You had a great day and you wanted to share this with your “so-called boyfriend or FWB”, when you call him, he sends you straight to voicemail. So then you text him and he only types, “K” Well, just so you know your “K” just pissed my once happy face off.

6. He’s selfish in bed. He couldn’t get any closer to the marathon man if he tried, then after his 5 seconds, he doesn’t even help you out. Break out that vibrator ladies, they are more dependable. :):)

Happy Dating!

The Sexpert Christy Goldstein

Secrets To Drama-Free Love Was Published Today!

Hello everyone! I am happy to say that my first book that I cowrote, Secrets To Drama-Free Love was published today and is available on Amazon.com. My chapter in the book is titled, The Secret To Not Allowing Life Events Define Who You Are And Where You Are Going. In my chapter I discuss how I dealt with the many people in my life who thought because I look completely normal and healthy, that I was lying about my illness or that I was exaggerating the extent of my illness.

So many people have something in their lives that they wish they can change, but since we are not capable to turn the clocks back to make that change, we need to learn how to accept our past decisions, our failures, our white lies, or anything else that affected our lives in a negative way due to our past decisions. Since we can not change these past events, I will show you how to move forward and get everything you wanted. Everyone is given a purpose and it is up to you to figure out what that purpose is for you and to implement it. It doesn’t matter how far behind you are, due to life moving forward with or without you. Even if your personal timeline isn’t achieved, you will still be happy and you will not care that it took you longer than you preferred. You especially will not care about that timeframe, especially once your goal is accomplished.

 

http://www.amazon.com/Secrets-Drama-Free-Love-Lorii-Abela/dp/0997260130/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1457702658&sr=8-1&keywords=christy+goldstein

8 Red Flags He’s Using You For Sex

YIKES.

Men and women often want different things from their relationships. If you’re emotionally involved with a guy, it’s possible that he might not feel as deeply. We have all dealt with this at some point in our relationships — the fear or realization that he’s just using me for sex.

Here’s a bit of relationship advice and a few signs to look for if you’re skeptical that he may not care as much about your hopes, dreams and personality as he does your compatibility in the bedroom:

1. He only comes by late at night

Now, I know sometimes men will come over after a night of bar hopping with his buddies, but if he is only making that call when he’s drinking and it is late, you should know he isn’t interested in anything but a sexual relationship. A man who cares about you for you will want to spend time with you in the light of day, and without the influence of alcohol.

2. He always cancels plans with you.

You’re looking forward to hanging out together, but as soon as you are supposed to see him, he sends you a text saying he has to cancel. This isn’t just disappointing, it’s rude! You are worth having someone show up on time and actually stick to their word. Don’t make excuses for him — if it’s a habit, it’s his cowardly way of showing you he’s not interested.

3. He never takes you out in public.

Just as important as his willingness to see you in the daytime, a man you’re dating should be excited about taking you out. No excuses on this one — if you two never leave the house, you need to start asking yourself why that is. It’s fun to get lost in the sheets together sometimes, but you should also both enjoy a walk in the park or a dinner at a restaurant.

4. He tells you everything you want to hear, but doesn’t show you the things he says.

Actions speak louder than words, so if he’s just filling you up with charming and charismatic words, without proving what he says is true, it’s time to move on.

5. He is standoffish.

He knows everything about you, but your knowledge of him is limited. Relationships are for learning about each other and seeing if you two are compatible. If he tells you very little about himself, he’s either hiding something or he just doesn’t want you to know him.

Maybe he doesn’t think you’re compatible for the long-term, or just doesn’t want to put in the effort because he knows he’s going to move on before you gets too comfortable.

6. He only texts you about sex.

How many sexts do you have from him on your phone? Or how many dick pics? (Men, stop sending those if we haven’t asked for them!) It’s a tell tale sign that he’s only interested in your body — not your mind.

7. You haven’t met his friends and/or he hasn’t met yours.
Wikia

If you two have only been at each other’s houses and haven’t met any of his friends, this proves he’s hiding his true intentions he has with you. A guy looking for more than sex will want to show you off.

8. He still has all of his dating apps.

You’ve been “seeing” him for a few months and he still has every dating app and you can see he’s active on them. This one should be obvious.

It’s easy to ignore these signs, especially when you feel attached or excited about a potential new partner. But the fact is, if he’s displaying any (or ALL) of these traits, he is just using you for sex and does not want a relationship with you.

Even though it may hurt to admit this, you deserve more than someone who doesn’t care about you beyond your favorite sex positions.The red flags you are ignoring when he only wants you for sex.

Why I Choose To Be Happy

 

You can choose your attitude, but only you can do it, no one else has the power except you.

As most know, I was diagnosed with Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, when I was 25 years old. I have had 56 surgeries correcting what my body does naturally. In the beginning pre-diagnosis, I was having the bulk of my surgeries and each doctor’s visit was a new diagnosis and a new struggle I knew I would have once they put it out there, that I had something new another label. I am a firm believer that once you believe something to be true, it does become a truth. I try not to allow someone else to “label” me, that is my job and God’s job.

Between the doctors visits and medications they throw at you, I know better than anyone it is hard to shut your mind off from your illness and the constant reminders that you are ill. I was in that spot once too. I thought about my illness every waking moment. I would start conversations about it with random people at the grocery store, just to talk about it once more. I was a walking pity party! No one wanted to be around me because I was so negative and unhappy. I would tell friends I couldn’t do something even without knowing if that was true. I tricked myself into thinking my bed and tv was the extent of activity I could subject my body to. But, in reality, it wasn’t my body struggling with what was happening to it, it was my mind.

I literally stayed in my bed for over 7 years, having surgery after surgery, being on the highest pain medications they could give me, and taking them around the clock. My life was revolved around my illness and the pain I felt. I was consumed with my surgeries and why they weren’t working. Had I stopped and looked at the past surgeries objectively, I would have realized a lot sooner that the surgeries were hurting me, more than helping. I lost my friends, I was on disability from my job more often than not. I had no love prospects and I didn’t even think I could find someone who could handle my depressing life. I mean I wouldn’t have even dated me had I been the guy. I was completely depressed and consumed with all things pain and surgery. I didn’t go outside unless I had a doctor appointment. And I definitely didn’t socialize with anyone but my doctors. I was literally just existing and that isn’t the life I was supposed to live or anyone for that matter.

It’s now 2016, I see 2 doctors, versus the 14 I saw for 10 plus years. I am active everyday. I walk on the treadmill every day and I am dating and enjoying what my life consists of and the pain, fatigue and dislocations that I still suffer from are such a small part of it. Those things are going to happen whether I am happy or depressed, but I would rather face these obstacles with a happy heart than a depressed one. It takes work on your part and it won’t change overnight, but if you retrain your mind you will be able to have your life back, just like I was able to.

I started thinking about the things I did before I had any of the surgeries. I always loved to read, but I never actually sat down and wrote anything outside of a paper for a class. Writing and the treadmill have become my happy place and my complete release from the stress and the constant pain. It is true what they say, that working out boosts your endorphins and releases serotonin in the brain which is just like taking an anti depressant, but through a natural way versus adding another medication. I am still in pain, but I force my mind to think of other things. If I am having a bad day and I lay down in my bed, the pain intensifies because your mind is 100% focused on the pain and your mind can trick you to make it appear worse than it actually is.

Refocusing my mind and writing down my goals and my desires for my life have been a God-send. Yes, I still have depressing thoughts sometimes, this technique isn’t a cure-all, but it will help immensely once you start writing it down every single day in a journal. Write down who you wanted to be when you were dreaming and imagining as a child. What were your goals? What did you want to be before society pressures changed it? Live the life you always wanted to and obtain the life you wanted before the societal pressures, family pressures, illness and pain came into your life. You can obtain that life, it will take a lot of work, but it will always be worth it. Choose to be happy and yes it is a choice!

 

 

Atiq Durrani Spine Surgeon in Cincinnati Ohio

Atiq Durrani was my surgeon, he fled back to his native country Pakistan when he was indicted by the Feds with 46 felony counts. He did unnecessary surgeries on me and 500 plus more people. The hospitals knew he was doing this and that he was using non-FDA regulated stem cell proteins, which causes cancer, bone overgrowth and possible other unknowns due to it not being researched. He’s the reason I’m in pain every second of my life and the reason I need more spine surgeries because of him using stem cell proteins that I never asked for. My thoracic spine is being crushed from the weight of excess bone and is now impinged on my spinal cord in 3 areas.
The many hospitals he performed surgeries at in Cincinnati, ohio have played games knowing that people have lost everything because of this man. He screwed up many children who now have to live their lives based on where their doctors are. No surgeon in ohio will touch us. I’ve seen over 10 who refuse to help, due to the lawsuits and the many issues our spines have. Here are a few stories of the destruction he’s left during his time in ohio. The last person on this interview, Neil was a US Marine, he could no longer deal with the pain and is no longer with us. Please share so we can get justice for Neil and all of us suffering!