This Is Why I Ghost

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As a relationship coach, I will get a lot of flack for admitting that I ghost, but hear me out. Ghosting, is when you are speaking to someone and everything seems to be going so well and then BAM! They are never to be heard from again. You start to over-analyze every little thing you said and did the last time you talked to them or saw them. But, more often than not, the real reason they ghosted has a lot more to do with what they know of your character than them being an asshole.

I have always been very blunt and to the point, some can handle it and some cannot. But, if I stop having feelings for someone I will always slowly but surely stop responding, reason being is I have tried it both ways. I have always been upfront and honest that I like someone else or if I just do not think I am compatible with him anymore. And each time I took the awkward, but respectful way and go out of my way and tell them why I am not feeling them anymore, I would get so many obscenities sent my way.

I have been ghosted on too so it doesn’t matter who you are, you will get ghosted at least once in your life. I had one guy who said he hated ghosting and that if we were ever incompatible to please tell him. He had someone he liked ghost him and so he knew how bad it felt. He even said if she would have sent a text to me; that would have been better than silence. He and I were doing ok and everything appeared to be going well and then he just stopped responding. I even sent him a text saying, “Hey, if you met someone that is perfectly ok, just let me know” I received no response from him. So I let it go. That Friday, I am walking my dogs and guess who is outside my building with beer and trying to get into my gated community? Yep, it was the ghoster. What’s hilarious is the new girl he was dating lived in my exact building, we have 8 buildings in my complex so there’s karma for ya.

So as you can see ghosting sometimes has to occur and yes it is still immature and if the world were an expert on communication then we would never have to come up with these ridiculous terms, but with technology advancing everyday, expect ghosting to happen more and more, unfortunately it is here to stay. Just remember when you do it karma always comes back around.

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What a sex coach actually does.

For the past few months I have been bombarded with questions on what my job actually entails, so today I am going to explain the ins and outs of my job, pun intended.

First off, I DO NOT have sex with my clients. Nor do I use my body to show them what I am speaking about and no I do not use my hands to show them how to masturbate correctly. Now, there are sex coaches who do this and I am not knocking what they do professionally, but I never wanted to be that type of sex coach. Later this year I will be taking classes to be a certified clinical sexologist which covers a wide range of topics, such as: psychology, sex abuse, sexual dysfunctions, legal and unethical practices, etc. I also will be getting my sex educator certificate. As you can see there are a wide variety of topics when it comes to sex. And sex is the only thing in this country or even abroad that isn’t taught, your ideas of what a woman or man likes all comes from secondhand knowledge, which can be from past sex partners, friends, or even family.

I wanted to change how the topic of sex is viewed and for sex to become less awkward for parents and their kids/teens to bring sex up without skirting over the major points that need to be talked about. With so many sexually transmitted diseases and incorrect information on protection, it is necessary to discuss it at length, regardless of the persons comfort levels. The percentage rates of HPV, Herpes, and other highly contracted STD’s could go down with the correct information and training being shared to the public. Young adults and even most adults think they are invincible and will not contract a STD, but it’s that ignorance that causes the statistics to skyrocket.

So no matter what you may think of my job, please be safe. If not for yourself, do it for your partner. They shouldn’t have to deal with a lifelong decision that you made without their knowledge or consent just because you think you are superman or superwoman for those 30 seconds or 30 minutes. Happy Dating and remember to WRAP IT UP!!

Use These Tips To Give Your Man The Best Blowjob Of His Life

Every man loves getting a blowjob, but you might have been doing it wrong all along.

We all know men love blow jobs or they are sometimes called fellatio. But, knowing how to do them right is something women have struggled to master. I am going to give you a few tips on giving a great blow job to keep your man happy and keep running back for more.

I have always been a fan of the blow job, but I do have an oral fixation so it has come naturally to me and with a lot of other women that have oral fixations as well, which normally makes it easier for them to master because of this. I like to do them especially in the morning, because most men have morning hard ons and usually they do not have time for sex if they are like me and hit the snooze button a lot. So to keep your man thinking about you all day long; a morning BJ is a great way to accomplish that!

Blow jobs can be very hard to master if you have a gag reflex; plus you have to worry about teeth placement and multitasking with your hands as well. With girls that want to practice on something else other than a penis; you can always use a banana to help with your gag reflex or your man will always oblige you to be the willing participate in your practicing phase.

I focus on the tip of the head and underneath the shaft. If you swirl your tongue and suck around their opening of their external urethral orifice, which is where their semen comes out (for those of you that do not know that word) they will start bunching up very quickly with their abs and legs if done correctly. The head and underneath their shaft are their most sensitive spots. While you are doing this use your hands. But always make sure you have lotion or oil to massage their shaft it will feel a lot better for them. I use a twisting technique while I am sucking their balls as well.

Men love to have their balls sucked, there are a thousand nerve endings in their testicles, so do not forget to play with them! In the beginning start at their balls and then lick all the way up the shaft and some men will want a finger in their ass while you are giving them a blow job. But. not all men are like this. This is something you will have to ease into, because they may not have had it done before and so go in slowly to see their reaction, but remember to use lube on your finger! If you have long nails I recommend skipping this part. While you are sucking the head, I like to take my tongue and lick up and down his shaft while pulling the skin up with my mouth, it’s similar to you sucking his head, but just be gentle sucking the sides. Men can be very rough when they masturbate alone, so do not feel like you have to be too gentle with jacking him off especially if you are using lube or oil.

Then, there is the age old question spit or swallow. Some, when they are so aroused they continue to cum for a moment and anymore sucking or playing with them will make it feel uncomfortable or too much to handle. So depending on the man stick to the tip of the head while they start to cum and you will be able to tell when it’s time to stop.

Blow jobs are loved by all men and if you can perfect it you will be able to keep them happy throughout the day and they will continue to think about that morning with you. Now if you two have more time, then give him some time to recover and then go for round two, but this time involving you!

Mobile Dating Apps, Do They Work? Updated!

This past week I found a new mobile dating application that someone wanted me to try called The Circle. This application is supposed to find friends who are close to the same location as you and of course anyone with that application can see everyone who is close to them. I, being the inquisitive person I am, downloaded it and saw all my usual Facebook friends on it. So I thought, ‘OK it’s just another way to get in contact with friends. Wrong.

Five minutes into downloading this application I started getting notifications from people I have never met and they started sending me messages. I love meeting new people, but I started to realize that only men (and the occasional woman) were going to be messaging me. My first message was from this guy, we will call him Thomas. He started with the standard questions of what I did for a living (even though it is posted on my page) and what I liked to do outside of work and then… BAM! Do you have a boyfriend, what are your measurements, are you looking for a boyfriend, when can we hang out, what is your favorite color. Yeah that last one shocked me too.

Ask Intelligent Questions!

A day into this mobile dating application, I received 45 messages from men and 119 profile views from random people. Now I ask you— how is anyone single when you have Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, The Circle, and all the other applications that we can download just for the heck of it? But the reason people can still be single, myself included, is because people ask us questions like Thomas did. Is there any tact? Is there anything else that men want to know from us besides my favorite color? And of course if I want a boyfriend? What the heck am I back in middle school?

All of these applications are just another way for men to accost women with stupid questions and it’s another way for women to be rejected by the men we actually like. Needless to say I removed the application from my phone. But I am still hopeful that people will realize that we want better questions than what is your favorite color! And I would hope that if you actually wanted to date me, and not just sleep with me, that my favorite color being blue is not something you want to know or even need to know after you find out my name and my measurements!

Now, we have the Tinder App, I must say Tinder is actually one of the best mobile dating apps, and the reason I like it is because you can select who will contact you. On all the other dating apps anyone can message you at any time and that can be annoying especially when you have no intentions of talking to that person. The only downside to Tinder is that there are a lot of people who are on there just swiping right, indicating that yes you think that person is your type, but then not contacting them. I have a lot of friends using Tinder and are upset they took the effort to swipe right and when you message them you get no response. What is the point of you being on a dating app and selecting someone you think is attractive, but never talking to them? If this is something you do, please remove the app! There are people out there who are really looking for love, and if you aren’t one of those people kindly log off.

5 Undeniable Signs He Is Just Using You.

Men and women often want different things from their relationships. If you’re emotionally involved with a guy, it’s possible that he might not feel as deeply. We have all dealt with this at some point in our relationships; the fear or realization that he’s just using me for sex.

Here’s a bit of relationship advice and a few signs to look for if you’re skeptical that he may not care as much about your hopes, dreams and personality as he does your compatibility in the bedroom. Some of the signs are easy to overlook, but don’t discount them! Both his words and his actions are important to watch for as you decide if he’s in it to win it, or just in it for a good time.

1. He only comes late at night.
Now, I know sometimes men will come over after a night of bar hopping with his buddies, but if he is only making that call when he’s drinking and it is late, you should know he isn’t interested in anything but a sexual relationship. A man who cares about you for you will want to spend time with you in the light of day, and without the lubrication of alcohol.

2. He always cancels plans with you.
You’re looking forward to hanging out together, but as soon as you are supposed to see him, he sends you a text saying he has to cancel. This isn’t just disappointing, it’s rude! You are worth having someone show up on time and actually stick to their word! Do not make excuses for him constantly canceling; it’s his cowardly way of showing you he’s not interested.

3. He never takes you out in public.
Just as important as his willingness to see you in the daytime, a man you’re dating should be excited about taking you out! No excuses on this one: if you two never leave the house, you need to start asking yourself why that is. It’s fun to get lost in the sheets together sometimes, but you should also both enjoy a walk in the park or a dinner at a restaurant.

4. He tells you everything you want to hear, but doesn’t show you the things he says.
Actions speak louder than words, so if he’s just filling you up with charming and charismatic words, without proving what he says is true, it’s time to move on.

5. He is standoffish.
He knows everything about you, but your knowledge of him is limited. Relationships are for learning about each other and seeing if you two are compatible. If he tells you very little about himself, he’s either hiding something or he just doesn’t want you to know him. Maybe he doesn’t think you’re compatible for the long-term, or just doesn’t want to put in the effort because he knows he’s going to move on before you gets too comfortable.

It’s easy to ignore these signs, especially when you feel attached or excited about a potential new partner. But the fact is that if he’s displaying any of these traits, he is just using you for sex and does not want a relationship with you. Even though it may hurt to admit this, you deserve more than someone who doesn’t care about you.

Are You Just A Booty Call?

It’s the weekend, and you know you will get that text message or phone call from him, and you don’t know whether to be pleased or angry. I am talking about the “booty call” or the faux relationship; he never calls or texts you during the week, and when you call or text him, he never replies. /node/47889

But, as soon as the weekend rolls around, it is like clockwork and he texts or calls you exactly when the bars close. And, if he doesn’t, you know you are being replaced for that evening, which infuriates you even more.

When he is with you, he tells you everything you want to hear … that he loves being with you and he has so much fun with you. But he is only with you once or twice a month; this does not make a relationship and you will never change him.

No matter what you do, even if you never text or call him during the week, and you play his game, you will never get him to commit to you. This guy is who I call the non-committal because he likes to play the field and he will continue to play you until you realize that he only wants sex from you.

I had this guy in my life recently and unfortunately for him, I am a bigger player than him. When he texted me to get together, I never responded. Some men like this need a wake-up call, and when they get someone who is similar to them, such as myself, they don’t know how to react. So, this guy will continue to contact me, because I am unattainable to him, which never happens for him. /node/149987

But, ladies who are in this predicament, please know you are worth it for a man to date you more than a night or two a month. So, if there is a guy in your life doing this to you, do your best to cut your losses and move on from him. You do deserve someone to take you out to dinners during the week and on the weekend! /node/153434