This Is Why You Should Always Have A Prenuptial Agreement

Marriage is not just about love, it is also a business arrangement.

Everyone has their own opinions on prenuptial agreements and question if they send a bad precedent before marriage. But, divorce is a possibility whether you would want to address those feelings now or not. Life has no guarantees and there is no way to know if 2 or 10 years down the road you decide the marriage is not repairable. When you get married, you never want to think about the possibility of it ending, but with the divorce rate being so high, it is something that every pre-marriage phase couples need to think about and give credence to.

If a marriage doesn’t work out, the likelihood of it being a cordial break up and everyone agreeing on every little thing, is slim to none. Sure, there are a select few who can accomplish an amicable divorce, but more often than not there is going to be some resentment and angry feelings involved, especially for the person who was dumped. They will have a major hit to their ego and instead of being logical about their feelings, they will direct their anger towards getting their exes back anyway possible. Divorce becomes revenge and anything you two had discussed before with regards to the marriage not working out, goes out the window. Every couple says in the beginning if things do not work out, I will not fight with you or I will not take this or take that. And then the gloves come off and it’s everyone for them self. Even the attorneys will get nasty and become too emotionally involved.

I have seen every end of the spectrum when it comes to divorce. You have mutual break ups, the extremely angry break ups, and the starting out mutual, only to turn into a battle until even the toothbrush is accounted for. This is why pre-nups are such a necessary asset pre-marriage. You can put everything in this legal document and no matter who breaks up with whom, the pre-nup will stand. It is very rare that a judge goes against the original pre-nup legal document.

I know some people think that this process is unromantic and that it brings down the happy celebratory vibe you two have. My response to that is, it only has that effect on your situation because you are allowing it to. All you are doing, is laying out every asset you have and making sure you are protected down the road and that your kids are protected if you choose to have them or already have them. So put the romance feelings aside, it’s just smart to have one set up regardless if you are wealthy or not. Plus have you ever entered into a financial arrangement without a contract? You probably haven’t, so why forgo a prenup when it does involve everything you own? Which ever you decide, always remember: There is a difference between marrying the love of your life and divorcing the man you thought was the love of your life.

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This Is Why I Ghost

Text response is declined.

As a relationship coach, I will get a lot of flack for admitting that I ghost, but hear me out. Ghosting, is when you are speaking to someone and everything seems to be going so well and then BAM! They are never to be heard from again. You start to over-analyze every little thing you said and did the last time you talked to them or saw them. But, more often than not, the real reason they ghosted has a lot more to do with what they know of your character than them being an asshole.

I have always been very blunt and to the point, some can handle it and some cannot. But, if I stop having feelings for someone I will always slowly but surely stop responding, reason being is I have tried it both ways. I have always been upfront and honest that I like someone else or if I just do not think I am compatible with him anymore. And each time I took the awkward, but respectful way and go out of my way and tell them why I am not feeling them anymore, I would get so many obscenities sent my way.

I have been ghosted on too so it doesn’t matter who you are, you will get ghosted at least once in your life. I had one guy who said he hated ghosting and that if we were ever incompatible to please tell him. He had someone he liked ghost him and so he knew how bad it felt. He even said if she would have sent a text to me; that would have been better than silence. He and I were doing ok and everything appeared to be going well and then he just stopped responding. I even sent him a text saying, “Hey, if you met someone that is perfectly ok, just let me know” I received no response from him. So I let it go. That Friday, I am walking my dogs and guess who is outside my building with beer and trying to get into my gated community? Yep, it was the ghoster. What’s hilarious is the new girl he was dating lived in my exact building, we have 8 buildings in my complex so there’s karma for ya.

So as you can see ghosting sometimes has to occur and yes it is still immature and if the world were an expert on communication then we would never have to come up with these ridiculous terms, but with technology advancing everyday, expect ghosting to happen more and more, unfortunately it is here to stay. Just remember when you do it karma always comes back around.

Dating While Disabled

I’m happy to announce my book, Dating While Disabled will be out soon! It was slated for October 25th, but due to higher demands, I’m releasing it in June! Stay tuned for launch dates in the coming month!

Dating While Disabled will cover all of your dating needs! It will go over everything you and your partner or potential partner will need to know about dating someone with an illness!

Stay Tuned! Happy Dating!!

What a sex coach actually does.

For the past few months I have been bombarded with questions on what my job actually entails, so today I am going to explain the ins and outs of my job, pun intended.

First off, I DO NOT have sex with my clients. Nor do I use my body to show them what I am speaking about and no I do not use my hands to show them how to masturbate correctly. Now, there are sex coaches who do this and I am not knocking what they do professionally, but I never wanted to be that type of sex coach. Later this year I will be taking classes to be a certified clinical sexologist which covers a wide range of topics, such as: psychology, sex abuse, sexual dysfunctions, legal and unethical practices, etc. I also will be getting my sex educator certificate. As you can see there are a wide variety of topics when it comes to sex. And sex is the only thing in this country or even abroad that isn’t taught, your ideas of what a woman or man likes all comes from secondhand knowledge, which can be from past sex partners, friends, or even family.

I wanted to change how the topic of sex is viewed and for sex to become less awkward for parents and their kids/teens to bring sex up without skirting over the major points that need to be talked about. With so many sexually transmitted diseases and incorrect information on protection, it is necessary to discuss it at length, regardless of the persons comfort levels. The percentage rates of HPV, Herpes, and other highly contracted STD’s could go down with the correct information and training being shared to the public. Young adults and even most adults think they are invincible and will not contract a STD, but it’s that ignorance that causes the statistics to skyrocket.

So no matter what you may think of my job, please be safe. If not for yourself, do it for your partner. They shouldn’t have to deal with a lifelong decision that you made without their knowledge or consent just because you think you are superman or superwoman for those 30 seconds or 30 minutes. Happy Dating and remember to WRAP IT UP!!

Use These Tips To Give Your Man The Best Blowjob Of His Life

Every man loves getting a blowjob, but you might have been doing it wrong all along.

We all know men love blow jobs or they are sometimes called fellatio. But, knowing how to do them right is something women have struggled to master. I am going to give you a few tips on giving a great blow job to keep your man happy and keep running back for more.

I have always been a fan of the blow job, but I do have an oral fixation so it has come naturally to me and with a lot of other women that have oral fixations as well, which normally makes it easier for them to master because of this. I like to do them especially in the morning, because most men have morning hard ons and usually they do not have time for sex if they are like me and hit the snooze button a lot. So to keep your man thinking about you all day long; a morning BJ is a great way to accomplish that!

Blow jobs can be very hard to master if you have a gag reflex; plus you have to worry about teeth placement and multitasking with your hands as well. With girls that want to practice on something else other than a penis; you can always use a banana to help with your gag reflex or your man will always oblige you to be the willing participate in your practicing phase.

I focus on the tip of the head and underneath the shaft. If you swirl your tongue and suck around their opening of their external urethral orifice, which is where their semen comes out (for those of you that do not know that word) they will start bunching up very quickly with their abs and legs if done correctly. The head and underneath their shaft are their most sensitive spots. While you are doing this use your hands. But always make sure you have lotion or oil to massage their shaft it will feel a lot better for them. I use a twisting technique while I am sucking their balls as well.

Men love to have their balls sucked, there are a thousand nerve endings in their testicles, so do not forget to play with them! In the beginning start at their balls and then lick all the way up the shaft and some men will want a finger in their ass while you are giving them a blow job. But. not all men are like this. This is something you will have to ease into, because they may not have had it done before and so go in slowly to see their reaction, but remember to use lube on your finger! If you have long nails I recommend skipping this part. While you are sucking the head, I like to take my tongue and lick up and down his shaft while pulling the skin up with my mouth, it’s similar to you sucking his head, but just be gentle sucking the sides. Men can be very rough when they masturbate alone, so do not feel like you have to be too gentle with jacking him off especially if you are using lube or oil.

Then, there is the age old question spit or swallow. Some, when they are so aroused they continue to cum for a moment and anymore sucking or playing with them will make it feel uncomfortable or too much to handle. So depending on the man stick to the tip of the head while they start to cum and you will be able to tell when it’s time to stop.

Blow jobs are loved by all men and if you can perfect it you will be able to keep them happy throughout the day and they will continue to think about that morning with you. Now if you two have more time, then give him some time to recover and then go for round two, but this time involving you!

Why You Shouldn’t Update Your Relationship Status

It has come to my attention that my generation believes if a relationship is not “Facebook official,” then the relationship is not real. This means that if the “in a relationship” box is not checked off on a profile, then the relationship is nonexistent.

When did Facebook take over our lives? Why is it that if something happens to us — whether it’s something funny, sad or mean — we go to Facebook first to let our “friends” know? Why has Facebook taken over our lives, and most importantly, our relationships?

Remember when we had to pick up the phone to discuss something with someone, or discussed the issue in person? While it is great that social networking has advanced, our conversations have become so impersonal that we do not know if a friend’s Facebook status should be taken seriously. /node/129595

How did we resort to using Facebook and Twitter to find out about the latest gossip surrounding our friends? Why is it okay that we have allowed technology and social networking to rule our lives?

Facebook and Twitter can be a great tool to tell people things without contacting them individually. However, telling everyone on Facebook that you are pregnant before telling the father is wrong on so many levels.

We have been conditioned to check our Facebook profiles and newsfeeds every second of the day, and now, even our cell phones have the capability to update Facebook and Twitter simultaneously.

Have we become lazy? Technological advancements have created simpler methods of doing things to save time and energy. For some tasks, this is a great thing, but what are we teaching the children of the next generation? … that your relationship with your boyfriend or girlfriend is not real unless it is posted on Facebook?
We have become so subdued that when Facebook changes a feature, my newsfeed fills with complaints about it for several hours. Lets face it, that change is the most important thing of the day for everyone. Heaven forbid we start thinking about the important things that seldom make someone’s status update, such as the country’s overwhelming debt and the wars that are being fought throughout the world. /node/146018

Being “Facebook official” is a concept that I do not agree with because in a few weeks, your relationship status will go back to “single.” So, why bother? It only takes a few seconds to go from being in a relationship to being single. Why let everyone know? It is not like Facebook makes or breaks a relationship. However, if you put more emphasis on being “Facebook official,” than you do on your actual relationship, it will.

5 Undeniable Signs He Is Just Using You.

Men and women often want different things from their relationships. If you’re emotionally involved with a guy, it’s possible that he might not feel as deeply. We have all dealt with this at some point in our relationships; the fear or realization that he’s just using me for sex.

Here’s a bit of relationship advice and a few signs to look for if you’re skeptical that he may not care as much about your hopes, dreams and personality as he does your compatibility in the bedroom. Some of the signs are easy to overlook, but don’t discount them! Both his words and his actions are important to watch for as you decide if he’s in it to win it, or just in it for a good time.

1. He only comes late at night.
Now, I know sometimes men will come over after a night of bar hopping with his buddies, but if he is only making that call when he’s drinking and it is late, you should know he isn’t interested in anything but a sexual relationship. A man who cares about you for you will want to spend time with you in the light of day, and without the lubrication of alcohol.

2. He always cancels plans with you.
You’re looking forward to hanging out together, but as soon as you are supposed to see him, he sends you a text saying he has to cancel. This isn’t just disappointing, it’s rude! You are worth having someone show up on time and actually stick to their word! Do not make excuses for him constantly canceling; it’s his cowardly way of showing you he’s not interested.

3. He never takes you out in public.
Just as important as his willingness to see you in the daytime, a man you’re dating should be excited about taking you out! No excuses on this one: if you two never leave the house, you need to start asking yourself why that is. It’s fun to get lost in the sheets together sometimes, but you should also both enjoy a walk in the park or a dinner at a restaurant.

4. He tells you everything you want to hear, but doesn’t show you the things he says.
Actions speak louder than words, so if he’s just filling you up with charming and charismatic words, without proving what he says is true, it’s time to move on.

5. He is standoffish.
He knows everything about you, but your knowledge of him is limited. Relationships are for learning about each other and seeing if you two are compatible. If he tells you very little about himself, he’s either hiding something or he just doesn’t want you to know him. Maybe he doesn’t think you’re compatible for the long-term, or just doesn’t want to put in the effort because he knows he’s going to move on before you gets too comfortable.

It’s easy to ignore these signs, especially when you feel attached or excited about a potential new partner. But the fact is that if he’s displaying any of these traits, he is just using you for sex and does not want a relationship with you. Even though it may hurt to admit this, you deserve more than someone who doesn’t care about you.

Flirting On Facebook: How Social Media Changed Our Dating Lives

By now, almost everyone has Facebook, Twitter, Keek, Instagram, Vine, etc. So, with all these social media outlets, how does it fair in love? I personally feel like social media has taken over our lives. When you are friends with the guy or girl you are seeing, you scour their Facebook activity to see who is commenting the most on their statuses and if they are of the opposite sex. It’s something many do but beware because this may cause an issue with your new mate.

I have stayed away from being friends with my partner on Facebook. I know most would say by my doing this I will automatically cause a trust issue for my mate, but I don’t feel that it should cause a trust issue. I am trying to prevent the jealousy issue people have when they see men comment or like my status and I have no problem showing my partner my Facebook page when we are together.

I’ve seen so many relationships end because of a comment someone made on a Facebook status. No one can control what other people put on their Facebook or Twitter so there is no reason to get upset about every little comment! Now, if your mate responds in a flirty fashion, then you can tell your partner you’re not ok with what they put as a response.

I think social media has made things harder for people to date and married couples are now making a Facebook page with both of their names, which to me is a waste of time. Why create a new page? That is just time consuming and everyone on your Facebook should know you are married already. And if they don’t, then those people aren’t privy to your life and shouldn’t have access to it anyway.

I’ve known couples where one has a Facebook and the other does not. I think this is the best way to go. Men will always be flirty with women regardless if they know they are with someone or not. I am not sure why this is, but for me, I have always just said thank you or whatever generic response is needed for that situation. I know that not all people will do what I do with regards to Facebook but the important part is that both parties agree to how social media sites are used. Which brings me to subliminal messages on social media.

There are also people who fall victim to social media. I have been the victim of social media and I know a lot of other people who have been victims from it as well. Everyone knows about the Facebook subliminal messaging; people use these after a break up or if they are angry at someone. When this occurs, your entire friends list and anyone who has ever liked the status will now know you have issues in your relationship. I plead to stop doing this! It’s unnecessary and annoying. I don’t want to know that your boyfriend didn’t take out the trash and that you are pissed, and I don’t think anyone else cares that he or she forgot Sweetest Day (which I did this year, sue me it’s not on my calendar)!

Social media will always be here. There is no turning back, but please use it carefully, and remember not to use it when you have been drinking. Even if you delete a status the day after, you have put it up for the world to see and everyone has already seen it by the time you delete it. So please put the phone down while you are drinking or angry. I have told everyone I know that when you are mad, write down what you want to say then wait an hour and go back and look at it. After you go back and look at it you will see that while angry, you are most likely saying the same thing over and over again but in a different ways.

Since social media will be here for years to come and we have learned new things about people we never wanted to know, remember this — it is hard to remove a comment or status even after it has been removed. Everyone’s cell phone and computer signals update at different times and you may not see that status any longer because you are the one who deleted it, but trust me my friend, many others have seen this update, even when you no longer can.

I hope this has been helpful and happy Facebooking!