This Is Why You Should Always Have A Prenuptial Agreement

Marriage is not just about love, it is also a business arrangement.

Everyone has their own opinions on prenuptial agreements and question if they send a bad precedent before marriage. But, divorce is a possibility whether you would want to address those feelings now or not. Life has no guarantees and there is no way to know if 2 or 10 years down the road you decide the marriage is not repairable. When you get married, you never want to think about the possibility of it ending, but with the divorce rate being so high, it is something that every pre-marriage phase couples need to think about and give credence to.

If a marriage doesn’t work out, the likelihood of it being a cordial break up and everyone agreeing on every little thing, is slim to none. Sure, there are a select few who can accomplish an amicable divorce, but more often than not there is going to be some resentment and angry feelings involved, especially for the person who was dumped. They will have a major hit to their ego and instead of being logical about their feelings, they will direct their anger towards getting their exes back anyway possible. Divorce becomes revenge and anything you two had discussed before with regards to the marriage not working out, goes out the window. Every couple says in the beginning if things do not work out, I will not fight with you or I will not take this or take that. And then the gloves come off and it’s everyone for them self. Even the attorneys will get nasty and become too emotionally involved.

I have seen every end of the spectrum when it comes to divorce. You have mutual break ups, the extremely angry break ups, and the starting out mutual, only to turn into a battle until even the toothbrush is accounted for. This is why pre-nups are such a necessary asset pre-marriage. You can put everything in this legal document and no matter who breaks up with whom, the pre-nup will stand. It is very rare that a judge goes against the original pre-nup legal document.

I know some people think that this process is unromantic and that it brings down the happy celebratory vibe you two have. My response to that is, it only has that effect on your situation because you are allowing it to. All you are doing, is laying out every asset you have and making sure you are protected down the road and that your kids are protected if you choose to have them or already have them. So put the romance feelings aside, it’s just smart to have one set up regardless if you are wealthy or not. Plus have you ever entered into a financial arrangement without a contract? You probably haven’t, so why forgo a prenup when it does involve everything you own? Which ever you decide, always remember: There is a difference between marrying the love of your life and divorcing the man you thought was the love of your life.

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This Is Why I Ghost

Text response is declined.

As a relationship coach, I will get a lot of flack for admitting that I ghost, but hear me out. Ghosting, is when you are speaking to someone and everything seems to be going so well and then BAM! They are never to be heard from again. You start to over-analyze every little thing you said and did the last time you talked to them or saw them. But, more often than not, the real reason they ghosted has a lot more to do with what they know of your character than them being an asshole.

I have always been very blunt and to the point, some can handle it and some cannot. But, if I stop having feelings for someone I will always slowly but surely stop responding, reason being is I have tried it both ways. I have always been upfront and honest that I like someone else or if I just do not think I am compatible with him anymore. And each time I took the awkward, but respectful way and go out of my way and tell them why I am not feeling them anymore, I would get so many obscenities sent my way.

I have been ghosted on too so it doesn’t matter who you are, you will get ghosted at least once in your life. I had one guy who said he hated ghosting and that if we were ever incompatible to please tell him. He had someone he liked ghost him and so he knew how bad it felt. He even said if she would have sent a text to me; that would have been better than silence. He and I were doing ok and everything appeared to be going well and then he just stopped responding. I even sent him a text saying, “Hey, if you met someone that is perfectly ok, just let me know” I received no response from him. So I let it go. That Friday, I am walking my dogs and guess who is outside my building with beer and trying to get into my gated community? Yep, it was the ghoster. What’s hilarious is the new girl he was dating lived in my exact building, we have 8 buildings in my complex so there’s karma for ya.

So as you can see ghosting sometimes has to occur and yes it is still immature and if the world were an expert on communication then we would never have to come up with these ridiculous terms, but with technology advancing everyday, expect ghosting to happen more and more, unfortunately it is here to stay. Just remember when you do it karma always comes back around.

Dating While Disabled

I’m happy to announce my book, Dating While Disabled will be out soon! It was slated for October 25th, but due to higher demands, I’m releasing it in June! Stay tuned for launch dates in the coming month!

Dating While Disabled will cover all of your dating needs! It will go over everything you and your partner or potential partner will need to know about dating someone with an illness!

Stay Tuned! Happy Dating!!

Use These Tips To Give Your Man The Best Blowjob Of His Life

Every man loves getting a blowjob, but you might have been doing it wrong all along.

We all know men love blow jobs or they are sometimes called fellatio. But, knowing how to do them right is something women have struggled to master. I am going to give you a few tips on giving a great blow job to keep your man happy and keep running back for more.

I have always been a fan of the blow job, but I do have an oral fixation so it has come naturally to me and with a lot of other women that have oral fixations as well, which normally makes it easier for them to master because of this. I like to do them especially in the morning, because most men have morning hard ons and usually they do not have time for sex if they are like me and hit the snooze button a lot. So to keep your man thinking about you all day long; a morning BJ is a great way to accomplish that!

Blow jobs can be very hard to master if you have a gag reflex; plus you have to worry about teeth placement and multitasking with your hands as well. With girls that want to practice on something else other than a penis; you can always use a banana to help with your gag reflex or your man will always oblige you to be the willing participate in your practicing phase.

I focus on the tip of the head and underneath the shaft. If you swirl your tongue and suck around their opening of their external urethral orifice, which is where their semen comes out (for those of you that do not know that word) they will start bunching up very quickly with their abs and legs if done correctly. The head and underneath their shaft are their most sensitive spots. While you are doing this use your hands. But always make sure you have lotion or oil to massage their shaft it will feel a lot better for them. I use a twisting technique while I am sucking their balls as well.

Men love to have their balls sucked, there are a thousand nerve endings in their testicles, so do not forget to play with them! In the beginning start at their balls and then lick all the way up the shaft and some men will want a finger in their ass while you are giving them a blow job. But. not all men are like this. This is something you will have to ease into, because they may not have had it done before and so go in slowly to see their reaction, but remember to use lube on your finger! If you have long nails I recommend skipping this part. While you are sucking the head, I like to take my tongue and lick up and down his shaft while pulling the skin up with my mouth, it’s similar to you sucking his head, but just be gentle sucking the sides. Men can be very rough when they masturbate alone, so do not feel like you have to be too gentle with jacking him off especially if you are using lube or oil.

Then, there is the age old question spit or swallow. Some, when they are so aroused they continue to cum for a moment and anymore sucking or playing with them will make it feel uncomfortable or too much to handle. So depending on the man stick to the tip of the head while they start to cum and you will be able to tell when it’s time to stop.

Blow jobs are loved by all men and if you can perfect it you will be able to keep them happy throughout the day and they will continue to think about that morning with you. Now if you two have more time, then give him some time to recover and then go for round two, but this time involving you!

Mobile Dating Apps, Do They Work? Updated!

This past week I found a new mobile dating application that someone wanted me to try called The Circle. This application is supposed to find friends who are close to the same location as you and of course anyone with that application can see everyone who is close to them. I, being the inquisitive person I am, downloaded it and saw all my usual Facebook friends on it. So I thought, ‘OK it’s just another way to get in contact with friends. Wrong.

Five minutes into downloading this application I started getting notifications from people I have never met and they started sending me messages. I love meeting new people, but I started to realize that only men (and the occasional woman) were going to be messaging me. My first message was from this guy, we will call him Thomas. He started with the standard questions of what I did for a living (even though it is posted on my page) and what I liked to do outside of work and then… BAM! Do you have a boyfriend, what are your measurements, are you looking for a boyfriend, when can we hang out, what is your favorite color. Yeah that last one shocked me too.

Ask Intelligent Questions!

A day into this mobile dating application, I received 45 messages from men and 119 profile views from random people. Now I ask you— how is anyone single when you have Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, The Circle, and all the other applications that we can download just for the heck of it? But the reason people can still be single, myself included, is because people ask us questions like Thomas did. Is there any tact? Is there anything else that men want to know from us besides my favorite color? And of course if I want a boyfriend? What the heck am I back in middle school?

All of these applications are just another way for men to accost women with stupid questions and it’s another way for women to be rejected by the men we actually like. Needless to say I removed the application from my phone. But I am still hopeful that people will realize that we want better questions than what is your favorite color! And I would hope that if you actually wanted to date me, and not just sleep with me, that my favorite color being blue is not something you want to know or even need to know after you find out my name and my measurements!

Now, we have the Tinder App, I must say Tinder is actually one of the best mobile dating apps, and the reason I like it is because you can select who will contact you. On all the other dating apps anyone can message you at any time and that can be annoying especially when you have no intentions of talking to that person. The only downside to Tinder is that there are a lot of people who are on there just swiping right, indicating that yes you think that person is your type, but then not contacting them. I have a lot of friends using Tinder and are upset they took the effort to swipe right and when you message them you get no response. What is the point of you being on a dating app and selecting someone you think is attractive, but never talking to them? If this is something you do, please remove the app! There are people out there who are really looking for love, and if you aren’t one of those people kindly log off.

Why You Shouldn’t Update Your Relationship Status

It has come to my attention that my generation believes if a relationship is not “Facebook official,” then the relationship is not real. This means that if the “in a relationship” box is not checked off on a profile, then the relationship is nonexistent.

When did Facebook take over our lives? Why is it that if something happens to us — whether it’s something funny, sad or mean — we go to Facebook first to let our “friends” know? Why has Facebook taken over our lives, and most importantly, our relationships?

Remember when we had to pick up the phone to discuss something with someone, or discussed the issue in person? While it is great that social networking has advanced, our conversations have become so impersonal that we do not know if a friend’s Facebook status should be taken seriously. /node/129595

How did we resort to using Facebook and Twitter to find out about the latest gossip surrounding our friends? Why is it okay that we have allowed technology and social networking to rule our lives?

Facebook and Twitter can be a great tool to tell people things without contacting them individually. However, telling everyone on Facebook that you are pregnant before telling the father is wrong on so many levels.

We have been conditioned to check our Facebook profiles and newsfeeds every second of the day, and now, even our cell phones have the capability to update Facebook and Twitter simultaneously.

Have we become lazy? Technological advancements have created simpler methods of doing things to save time and energy. For some tasks, this is a great thing, but what are we teaching the children of the next generation? … that your relationship with your boyfriend or girlfriend is not real unless it is posted on Facebook?
We have become so subdued that when Facebook changes a feature, my newsfeed fills with complaints about it for several hours. Lets face it, that change is the most important thing of the day for everyone. Heaven forbid we start thinking about the important things that seldom make someone’s status update, such as the country’s overwhelming debt and the wars that are being fought throughout the world. /node/146018

Being “Facebook official” is a concept that I do not agree with because in a few weeks, your relationship status will go back to “single.” So, why bother? It only takes a few seconds to go from being in a relationship to being single. Why let everyone know? It is not like Facebook makes or breaks a relationship. However, if you put more emphasis on being “Facebook official,” than you do on your actual relationship, it will.

Why You Shouldn’t Drink And Text

We’ve either gotten them or sent them … some of them are funny and some of them are just down right annoying! So, when is enough enough, especially when you are dating someone?

I am talking about the drunk text. Sure, some of them are hilarious like if they are from one of your girl friends and they are telling you about a date they are on that there was no hope for so they decided to get smashed. And being the great friend that you are they wanted to include you! /node/58228

You should feel lucky when it comes from your friends, but when it’s from a potential love match or boyfriend, that’s when things become a little bit tricky. Of course age comes into play with this; if you are in your low twenties, then this will happen more often than not. But, if you are closer to thirty or over thirty, that is when you start to scratch your head and think, “Really?”

Over the years, I have gotten plenty of drunk texts and have laughed at most of them. However, as I get older I am not laughing that much anymore. My last few drunk texts have been from some of my best guy friends telling me that they liked me as more than a friend. Now I know people can be shy, but if you like someone you should be able to say it sober and without a drunk text message that says, “I am drunk weeeeeee by the way I like you weeeee.” And yes this is the exact text message that was sent to me once. /node/47413

Another thing with drunk texting is that you have that alcohol courage helping you out. So not only have you sent that oh so important text message to declare your undying affection, but you have also sent a billion other text messages in a row that are pointless gibberish. And that will start to annoy anyone who is on the receiving end especially sober people. So because of all the other messages, the most important message you wanted to get across is lost on that person, because they are too busy counting how many text messages you have sent in one hour.

So the moral of the story ladies and gentleman is if you are drinking, please ask yourself over and over, if you really want to send that text message because once it is sent, you can not take it back! Also, sending too many messages to someone gives that person an impression of you that may not be accurate. And lets be honest here no one wants to be thought of as an obsessive compulsive person; especially, if that person doesn’t know you that well. They probably won’t want to get to know the real you any time in the near future after one night of drunk texting!

Relationship Sabotage

When you hear sabotage you think of a movie or war. You rarely think that you yourself are the one causing the relationship issues in your dating life. And you don’t want to think that the reason you are alone is not because their aren’t any good men, but you are alone because of you. I came to this realization a few months back. I am and have been sabotaging my own relationships and in a sense I am sabotaging my own happiness.

A lot of women I have talked too say that they know exactly what I am talking about when I say relationship sabotage. They first think of the relationships they have ruined because of their own neuroses and their own self esteem issues. A lot of people ruin a good relationship because of them being insecure with themselves.

I am one of those people. I have been independent to a fault and do not know how to allow someone to help me with even the mundane things such as carrying in groceries, walking my dogs for me, or picking up something I need at the store. My last relationship I sabotaged knowingly and completely. I don’t think there was anything else I could have done more thoroughly than ending that relationship.

I decided things for this person even before discussing it with them. I also assumed things that they probably hadn’t even thought about. Because of this we obviously ended the relationship. Well I ended it. Many times. So because I have this issue and acknowledge this I am hoping to change the way I react and think when it comes to relationships.

My biggest fear is abandonment. I have a lot of baggage per say and not many would want to deal with all the things that goes with being in my life. And so as a coping mechanism I push that person so far away that there is no turning back once I am done with them. I have acknowledged this and I want to change this part of my personality so going forward I won’t push the next person away. And hopefully the next guy will accept all of who I am.

Stop Over Analyzing

So he hasn’t called you or texted you back in a “reasonable” amount of time, so what do you do? You panic! The reason girls get so flustered and think every man they date is playing games with them is because they are constantly in their heads thinking of reasons why he doesn’t call or text you in a certain amount of time. Women also analyze why men want to spend time with their friends on a certain night instead of hanging out with you.

You need to stop thinking so negatively every time a guy doesn’t do what you want them to do. He doesn’t know how many times a day you want him to contact you. And even if he did, he has a life too, so your idea of how many times he should communicate with you will not always work for him. And it shouldn’t be a prerequisite in your dating life.

Men are pretty simple to understand. If a guy doesn’t contact you, it’s because he either doesn’t have anything to say or he really doesn’t want to contact you. It’s black or white with them. Even if you thought you had the best first meeting with a guy doesn’t mean he thought so too! And if he did have a great time with you then he will contact you and ask for a second meeting. Men like the “hunt” or chase if you will. If there is a woman he is interested in and she contacts him constantly or doesn’t allow him the chase he will get turned off and think you are too clingy and too desperate for a relationship with him.

Men love a confident woman and they hate dealing with jealousy. They like to have a girl who is into them of course, but they want to be the one to show you that he feels you too. They don’t want a girl constantly texting them and you showing them that you undoubtedly find him to be the “one” you have been searching for. In the future let him contact you and if he doesn’t then you know he wasn’t worth your time anyway.