A new article titled, Sorry, I’m Not Sorry! Why I think todays generations have a sense of entitlement and how we can combat their lack of respect for authority. It will be up on Monday April 25th!
Marriage is not just about love, it is also a business arrangement.
Everyone has their own opinions on prenuptial agreements and question if they send a bad precedent before marriage. But, divorce is a possibility whether you would want to address those feelings now or not. Life has no guarantees and there is no way to know if 2 or 10 years down the road you decide the marriage is not repairable. When you get married, you never want to think about the possibility of it ending, but with the divorce rate being so high, it is something that every pre-marriage phase couples need to think about and give credence to.
If a marriage doesn’t work out, the likelihood of it being a cordial break up and everyone agreeing on every little thing, is slim to none. Sure, there are a select few who can accomplish an amicable divorce, but more often than not there is going to be some resentment and angry feelings involved, especially for the person who was dumped. They will have a major hit to their ego and instead of being logical about their feelings, they will direct their anger towards getting their exes back anyway possible. Divorce becomes revenge and anything you two had discussed before with regards to the marriage not working out, goes out the window. Every couple says in the beginning if things do not work out, I will not fight with you or I will not take this or take that. And then the gloves come off and it’s everyone for them self. Even the attorneys will get nasty and become too emotionally involved.
I have seen every end of the spectrum when it comes to divorce. You have mutual break ups, the extremely angry break ups, and the starting out mutual, only to turn into a battle until even the toothbrush is accounted for. This is why pre-nups are such a necessary asset pre-marriage. You can put everything in this legal document and no matter who breaks up with whom, the pre-nup will stand. It is very rare that a judge goes against the original pre-nup legal document.
I know some people think that this process is unromantic and that it brings down the happy celebratory vibe you two have. My response to that is, it only has that effect on your situation because you are allowing it to. All you are doing, is laying out every asset you have and making sure you are protected down the road and that your kids are protected if you choose to have them or already have them. So put the romance feelings aside, it’s just smart to have one set up regardless if you are wealthy or not. Plus have you ever entered into a financial arrangement without a contract? You probably haven’t, so why forgo a prenup when it does involve everything you own? Which ever you decide, always remember: There is a difference between marrying the love of your life and divorcing the man you thought was the love of your life.
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As a relationship coach, I will get a lot of flack for admitting that I ghost, but hear me out. Ghosting, is when you are speaking to someone and everything seems to be going so well and then BAM! They are never to be heard from again. You start to over-analyze every little thing you said and did the last time you talked to them or saw them. But, more often than not, the real reason they ghosted has a lot more to do with what they know of your character than them being an asshole.
I have always been very blunt and to the point, some can handle it and some cannot. But, if I stop having feelings for someone I will always slowly but surely stop responding, reason being is I have tried it both ways. I have always been upfront and honest that I like someone else or if I just do not think I am compatible with him anymore. And each time I took the awkward, but respectful way and go out of my way and tell them why I am not feeling them anymore, I would get so many obscenities sent my way.
I have been ghosted on too so it doesn’t matter who you are, you will get ghosted at least once in your life. I had one guy who said he hated ghosting and that if we were ever incompatible to please tell him. He had someone he liked ghost him and so he knew how bad it felt. He even said if she would have sent a text to me; that would have been better than silence. He and I were doing ok and everything appeared to be going well and then he just stopped responding. I even sent him a text saying, “Hey, if you met someone that is perfectly ok, just let me know” I received no response from him. So I let it go. That Friday, I am walking my dogs and guess who is outside my building with beer and trying to get into my gated community? Yep, it was the ghoster. What’s hilarious is the new girl he was dating lived in my exact building, we have 8 buildings in my complex so there’s karma for ya.
So as you can see ghosting sometimes has to occur and yes it is still immature and if the world were an expert on communication then we would never have to come up with these ridiculous terms, but with technology advancing everyday, expect ghosting to happen more and more, unfortunately it is here to stay. Just remember when you do it karma always comes back around.
I am excited that Thought Catalog featured my recent article. Thank you to Thought Catalog!!
I’m happy to announce my book, Dating While Disabled will be out soon! It was slated for October 25th, but due to higher demands, I’m releasing it in June! Stay tuned for launch dates in the coming month!
Dating While Disabled will cover all of your dating needs! It will go over everything you and your partner or potential partner will need to know about dating someone with an illness!
Stay Tuned! Happy Dating!!
For the past few months I have been bombarded with questions on what my job actually entails, so today I am going to explain the ins and outs of my job, pun intended.
First off, I DO NOT have sex with my clients. Nor do I use my body to show them what I am speaking about and no I do not use my hands to show them how to masturbate correctly. Now, there are sex coaches who do this and I am not knocking what they do professionally, but I never wanted to be that type of sex coach. Later this year I will be taking classes to be a certified clinical sexologist which covers a wide range of topics, such as: psychology, sex abuse, sexual dysfunctions, legal and unethical practices, etc. I also will be getting my sex educator certificate. As you can see there are a wide variety of topics when it comes to sex. And sex is the only thing in this country or even abroad that isn’t taught, your ideas of what a woman or man likes all comes from secondhand knowledge, which can be from past sex partners, friends, or even family.
I wanted to change how the topic of sex is viewed and for sex to become less awkward for parents and their kids/teens to bring sex up without skirting over the major points that need to be talked about. With so many sexually transmitted diseases and incorrect information on protection, it is necessary to discuss it at length, regardless of the persons comfort levels. The percentage rates of HPV, Herpes, and other highly contracted STD’s could go down with the correct information and training being shared to the public. Young adults and even most adults think they are invincible and will not contract a STD, but it’s that ignorance that causes the statistics to skyrocket.
So no matter what you may think of my job, please be safe. If not for yourself, do it for your partner. They shouldn’t have to deal with a lifelong decision that you made without their knowledge or consent just because you think you are superman or superwoman for those 30 seconds or 30 minutes. Happy Dating and remember to WRAP IT UP!!
Every man loves getting a blowjob, but you might have been doing it wrong all along.
We all know men love blow jobs or they are sometimes called fellatio. But, knowing how to do them right is something women have struggled to master. I am going to give you a few tips on giving a great blow job to keep your man happy and keep running back for more.
I have always been a fan of the blow job, but I do have an oral fixation so it has come naturally to me and with a lot of other women that have oral fixations as well, which normally makes it easier for them to master because of this. I like to do them especially in the morning, because most men have morning hard ons and usually they do not have time for sex if they are like me and hit the snooze button a lot. So to keep your man thinking about you all day long; a morning BJ is a great way to accomplish that!
Blow jobs can be very hard to master if you have a gag reflex; plus you have to worry about teeth placement and multitasking with your hands as well. With girls that want to practice on something else other than a penis; you can always use a banana to help with your gag reflex or your man will always oblige you to be the willing participate in your practicing phase.
I focus on the tip of the head and underneath the shaft. If you swirl your tongue and suck around their opening of their external urethral orifice, which is where their semen comes out (for those of you that do not know that word) they will start bunching up very quickly with their abs and legs if done correctly. The head and underneath their shaft are their most sensitive spots. While you are doing this use your hands. But always make sure you have lotion or oil to massage their shaft it will feel a lot better for them. I use a twisting technique while I am sucking their balls as well.
Men love to have their balls sucked, there are a thousand nerve endings in their testicles, so do not forget to play with them! In the beginning start at their balls and then lick all the way up the shaft and some men will want a finger in their ass while you are giving them a blow job. But. not all men are like this. This is something you will have to ease into, because they may not have had it done before and so go in slowly to see their reaction, but remember to use lube on your finger! If you have long nails I recommend skipping this part. While you are sucking the head, I like to take my tongue and lick up and down his shaft while pulling the skin up with my mouth, it’s similar to you sucking his head, but just be gentle sucking the sides. Men can be very rough when they masturbate alone, so do not feel like you have to be too gentle with jacking him off especially if you are using lube or oil.
Then, there is the age old question spit or swallow. Some, when they are so aroused they continue to cum for a moment and anymore sucking or playing with them will make it feel uncomfortable or too much to handle. So depending on the man stick to the tip of the head while they start to cum and you will be able to tell when it’s time to stop.
Blow jobs are loved by all men and if you can perfect it you will be able to keep them happy throughout the day and they will continue to think about that morning with you. Now if you two have more time, then give him some time to recover and then go for round two, but this time involving you!
It has come to my attention that my generation believes if a relationship is not “Facebook official,” then the relationship is not real. This means that if the “in a relationship” box is not checked off on a profile, then the relationship is nonexistent.
When did Facebook take over our lives? Why is it that if something happens to us — whether it’s something funny, sad or mean — we go to Facebook first to let our “friends” know? Why has Facebook taken over our lives, and most importantly, our relationships?
Remember when we had to pick up the phone to discuss something with someone, or discussed the issue in person? While it is great that social networking has advanced, our conversations have become so impersonal that we do not know if a friend’s Facebook status should be taken seriously. /node/129595
How did we resort to using Facebook and Twitter to find out about the latest gossip surrounding our friends? Why is it okay that we have allowed technology and social networking to rule our lives?
Facebook and Twitter can be a great tool to tell people things without contacting them individually. However, telling everyone on Facebook that you are pregnant before telling the father is wrong on so many levels.
We have been conditioned to check our Facebook profiles and newsfeeds every second of the day, and now, even our cell phones have the capability to update Facebook and Twitter simultaneously.
Have we become lazy? Technological advancements have created simpler methods of doing things to save time and energy. For some tasks, this is a great thing, but what are we teaching the children of the next generation? … that your relationship with your boyfriend or girlfriend is not real unless it is posted on Facebook?
We have become so subdued that when Facebook changes a feature, my newsfeed fills with complaints about it for several hours. Lets face it, that change is the most important thing of the day for everyone. Heaven forbid we start thinking about the important things that seldom make someone’s status update, such as the country’s overwhelming debt and the wars that are being fought throughout the world. /node/146018
Being “Facebook official” is a concept that I do not agree with because in a few weeks, your relationship status will go back to “single.” So, why bother? It only takes a few seconds to go from being in a relationship to being single. Why let everyone know? It is not like Facebook makes or breaks a relationship. However, if you put more emphasis on being “Facebook official,” than you do on your actual relationship, it will.
Have you ever had that thought, why doesn’t she like me? She doesn’t even know me? I have had that thought a lot.
I know from the past women are supposed to be fearful of other women. It’s in their genetic makeup to be automatically tense when a women walks by and think what are her intentions. Everything is always “high school.” We never really get out of high school, do we? I have been out of high school for ten years and I still feel like I am walking the same halls, but just with different faces. When I worked in an office setting it was exhausting. Women automatically are sizing you up the moment you meet them. And for what reason? When did it become acceptable for women to be at war with each other?
We all suffer from the same heartbreak, the same setbacks with jobs, or the same headache of family life. We all are under the same pressure to make our lives as best as we can. So why are there women out there trying to make it harder for other women?
Women, for some reason, feel threatened by other women. Whether she is threatened because of a man or a job position, women automatically hate other women. I have watched a lot of girls look me up and down and I know what they are thinking. It’s what all girls are thinking when they first meet another girl “who is this bitch”.
There are ladies out there that say, “no, never done it”, you are lying! We all do it. And I wonder why we do? We should be coming together and be a force instead of being at war. Not all women are out to steal your man or steal that job you covet. We all are here trying to do the same thing, find love and find happiness.
Recently I walked down the street with my two dogs and this woman was in the passenger seat of an SUV, she gave me the dirtiest look I have had in a long time. I thought to myself what the hell? In that second she saw me, she automatically thought to give me a dirty look. We need to figure out how to change the reaction women have when they see another woman. Some women smile at someone when they see them and other women see danger and automatically are prepared for a brawl. It is so sad that in that one second that woman saw me she thought I was a bitch so I deserved that look. I have always thought that these women who are like this thrive for the most part and why I think this? Well to be honest when there is a woman like this no one wants to be around that woman so in a workplace that woman will get promotions just so other people don’t have to deal with her. Which in fact is such a horrible reaction to that woman, because she will keep getting promoted to higher positions of power just because someone else does not know how to deal with her and want that woman out of their “department”. I have seen this happen on many occasions in the corporate world. It always sadden me when there were two women up for a position and the “nicer” one didn’t get it because the other woman pissed off so many people that they need her out of that department since she has not done anything that was “worthy” of her getting fired.
So, Ladies, instead of hating on some other woman because she has something you want, why not think of how she got it and strive to get whatever it is you are craving from that person. Now, I am not saying steal her man or steal her job, I am saying there is something or someone meant for all of us so find out what that is and go get it! Because to be honest when you look at a woman and see her hair, eyes, face, body type and clothes; that woman can not change how she looks just like you can not, so why are you hating on someone who has the same amount of control as you do on how you look? So always remember that person has body image issues just like you do. There is always something someone does not like about their appearance so instead of being jealous to the point of being hateful why don’t you look at it like this, she has no control how she looks anymore than you do!
With jealousy there is always a conflict on what is ok and what is not ok. Some people think it is perfectly fine to check their mates Facebook and emails to see what they are up too. But, why is that ok? Or is it? What boundaries should you not cross in a relationship when it comes to your own jealousy issues?
I have never been a jealous person by nature. I figure if someone is going to cheat or go passed that line of trust they will do it. Regardless, what I say or do they will do it! And if you check their emails and Facebook you are already telling them you don’t trust them. I have never thought it was ok to check my partner’s emails or Facebook. What is the point of doing it? You will see something that will piss you off and it will start a fight over something that may be innocent.
There is always going to be a girl or guy that does not know you are in a relationship. So you can not punish that person for having someone come up to them and ask them out or for their number. Now, of course if they give it to them, then yes be upset. But, when someone is asking; they are in fact just asking! It doesn’t mean they are going to get what they want. But fighting with your mate over something they had no control over is an endless fight. It makes no sense and they have every right to be upset with you for starting something they again had no control over.
Back to checking your mates emails and Facebook; I have friends that have said that they had a relationship end because of their jealousy or because they were checking their mates Facebook 24/7 or checking their emails, if they had their passwords of course. Jealousy is a hard thing to contain and I understand that, but if you really want your partner in your life you will need to learn to fix that!
Most will not deal with crazy antics, because of being jealous. They may deal with it for a while, but in the end that will be the thing that pushes you two apart. If you have no trust in anyone you date, then why date? Trust, is one of the only things that holds a relationship together. Another is communication, so if you have issues with your jealousy, talk it out with your partner so they can know what upsets you and what doesn’t. And if they continue to do what upsets you, maybe you need to find someone who won’t cross that line for you.